Has your husband or wife left your marriage?
When they first left, did you feel a sense of relief? Not relief that they left, but relief that the consent friction that was occurring in the household has now stopped. It was relief that even though they made the wrong decision to leave at least a decision was finally made.
That feeling of relief soon turns into the reality that your one flesh husband or wife is gone. Oh the pain that causes in your heart. It is a pain like no other pain. Your heart has just been ripped out of your chest, then ripped in half, thrown on the grown and stumped on. If your husband or wife has left you, you know the pain I am talking about.
I know that pain personally, I am going through what you may be going through right now. I cried, actually still do sometimes, I was angry and frustrated, still am sometimes. After all, you and your husband or wife, stood before God and made a covenant, for better or worse, sick or poor, till death. You are angry and frustrated because your spouse didn’t hold true to that covenant. You feel betrayed, and rightfully so.
Who betrayed you? Oh, I hear your answer, my wife that’s who! Or, what do you mean who betrayed me, it was my husband, he was the one who left not me. Yes, in this world both answers are correct. But what is the deeper answer. Your husband or wife didn’t leave because of something you did, sure they may blame it all on you, but the bottom line is they left because they took their eyes off God. They left because the foundation of your marriage was not set firmly on Christ and satan slipped in. Satan began his attack on your marriage the second you said “I do” and worked his tactics on each of you until one of you caved to the evil ones deceptions.
Think about it, would you have married your spouse knowing that he or she was going to walk out on you years later? Of course not, you both married each other believing your marriage would last forever.
This isn’t about the blame game, the marriage is broken. Satan at this moment has the upper hand. Now what are you going to do about it? Regardless if your husband or wife left, part of your vows were for better or worse, this is the worse part. Sure man’s law might say you are divorced, you might have been the one who initiated it at the request of your spouse or through your anger of them leaving. That doesn’t matter, in God’s eyes you are still married. Are you willing to hold true to your covenant vows even though your husband or wife hasn’t? For better or worse. If your husband was still home, but sick would you walk away from him or sit by his bed side and nurse him to health? If your wife had an drug problem, would you walk away from her or get her into a recovery program and support her through her addiction? Your spouse leaving due to satan’s temptations is no different. He or she has been taken captive by the evil one. They have taken their eyes off God, believed the devils lies that life is so much better without you in it. Believing that they are “free” to live a worldly life, go out with as many women or men as they want. Maybe they have even been deceived in thinking they have found true love with someone else, a counterfeit replacement of you. Whatever they are doing or thinking, they are being deceived and have been taken captive by the evil one.
Are you willing to stand in the gap for your husband or wife during this time just as you would if they were in ill health or had an addiction problem? They are a prisoner of satan. What did your covenant vows mean to you? Isn’t your husband or wife sick right now with deception from satan? Aren’t they addicted to the worlds view of life?
Stand for your marriage, stand in the gap for your husband or wife. Pray for them daily, after all, if you don’t pray for them who will? Stand for God’s will in both your spouse’s life and yours. Pray that they will reach up to God and ask for forgiveness. At the same time, pray for yourself. Pray that God will make you into HIS image. The marriage failed because both of you were not grounded in Christ, the foundation was not as strong as it needed to be. Build your own personal foundation on Christ. Live your life as Christ directs you. Pray for your husband or wife. Let God make changes in both of you.
Get support, standing for your marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do. It is much harder than living in a broken marriage. Satan is pulling at us standers every minute of every day to give up. You need support. Trust me, support will be hard to find from your friends or family when it comes to standing for a man or woman who walked out on you. You see your friends and family saw how this person hurt you. They will not understand how you can stand for someone who treated you so badly. They have not made the covenant with your spouse and with God… you have. God will send you someone who will understand your commitment and they will stand with you. That someone God sends you may be in the form of a ministry. For me, God sent me to Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Please visit their site RejoiceMinistries.org their site. Read their story of divorce and re-marriage. This is a real couple, who believe in Jesus Christ and their whole ministry is focused on the Bible and God as it relates to marriage restoration.
Like I said I am where you are, I am standing. I know you are hoping for a miracle, you are wanting to know “when” your husband or wife will return and you are looking for “signs”. I can tell you the only real answer to the question of when they will return is in God’s timing and only in God’s timing. Please don’t look for sites on the internet that talk of time-lines, or listen to friends who tell you about the circumstances of what your spouse is doing and with who. The bottom line is, God has a plan for you in HIS life. Let God be your spouse for this season. Rely on HIM, He will give you peace and comfort you need.
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