From the monthly archives:

July 2010

It’s Easier To Pull People Down Than Raise Them Up

by Kim Staudenraus on July 26, 2010

Several years ago at church the pastor had an example on stage where he stood on a chair and asked one of the elders to stand in front of him on the floor.  The pastor then attempted to pull the elder up onto the chair.  He wrapped his arms around the elder, under his arms and pulled up.  The pastor struggled and strained but as much as he tried with all his body weight and strength he could not pull the elder up onto the chair.

Then the pastor asked the elder to attempt to pull him down off the chair.  The elder grabbed a hold of the pastor’s hand and with one quick pull and step forward the pastor came down off the chair.  The elder used hardly any energy what-so-ever.

It was a powerful example of how easy it was to be pulled down during good or bad times in our life.

There was a time in my life where I was the one standing on the floor pulling people down.  I am ashamed to admit it but to be totally honest this came to light when someone I love dearly made a blanket statement to me of “you are always so critical.”  Wow, I can still hear those words ring out in my head.    That statement caused me to do some serious self reflection and change.

The statement was correct, I was critical.  I truly had the best of intent and that was to help.   I didn’t realize that my help was coming across as being critical to the other person.  I never wanted to hurt anyone, but sadly I am afraid I did.  In my effort to do well, to help someone, I was actually pulling them down.  Since being told that almost three years ago, I have done my best to correct that critical way and be more positive.  I’ll admit it hasn’t always been easy.  I realized that my natural language was a critical one; I now strive to pull people up in a positive way, yes, I still struggle, but each and every day is a day I use to improve.

What I have found in doing so is exactly what the pastor demonstrated on the stage.  It is difficult to pull people up.  There are people all around continually trying to pull me back down.  I have to make a conscience effort to reflect on what they maybe going through in their life, I say a prayer for them, and hope that my small positive seed germinates and maybe one day sprouts in their life.

Maybe you have found this in your life as well, you try to do something positive but you have those around you who point out all the negative sides of what you are doing.

People who see the glass half empty instead of half full.  Those who say it is partly cloudy instead of partly sunny.  Yes, it is easier to pull people down than to pull them up, to encourage, to support.

Today I challenge you to go all day being positive.  Say encouraging things, rather than discouraging things.  See the glass half full.  Talk positively to yourself.  If you catch yourself evening thinking something negative correct yourself out loud and say something positive about the topic you were just negative about.

Can you image what this world would be like if we pulled each other up?  Let’s help each other in a positive way today.

You are a good person, share that goodness.

{ 0 comments }

A Better Life

by Kim Staudenraus on July 25, 2010

Most of us are continually growing.  We do so because we want to improve what we have and who we are.  This is not to say we are unhappy with our current life, just that most people don’t like to be stagnant.  Just as we should never stop learning, we should also never stop growing and improving ourselves.

Improving our life usually means some sort of change.  Most of us don’t like change.  Change means work, and honestly, most people don’t like to work hard even if it is something worthwhile.

There are some people who think that improving their life means running away from their current life and completely starting over, leaving behind commitments, relationships, sometimes even children to create a whole new life without trying to work on the life they had.  Can’t say I recommend that as a solution because nine-in-a-half times out of ten they are running from themselves rather than their circumstances.  Once the newness of the new life wears off they will be searching again for the next place to run.  This isn’t improving who you are; it is running from who you are.  Sadly you can never run from the person staring at you in the mirror.

When I talk about a better life I mean improving the life you have, the life you committed to, the person that you are.

How do you make your life better?  First off, take an inventory of what in your life you would like to improve.  Write these things down.  Would you like to lose weight?  Move out of an apartment and into a house?  Be a better parent?  Maybe, you would like to get a degree, or change occupations.

Next, set some specific goals.  For example, if you want to lose weight, don’t just set a goal of “one day I want to lose weight.”  Rather, set the goal of “I will lose 20 pounds by September 30 of this year”  or “Starting this Monday I will spend one dedicated hour each night with my kids, I won’t talk on the phone, work on the computer or watch TV, this is time I will spend with my kids, getting to know them.”  These are just a couple of examples.  My point is set the goal to be as specific as possible. If it is too open ended you are giving yourself an out, time to procrastinate or make excuses and most likely won’t strive hard enough to meet the goal.

The key is to write down your inventory, and most importantly, write down your goals.  To increase your commitment to yourself, tell at least two people who are close to you in your life what your goals are.  Ask them to be your accountability partners.  Ask them to ask you specifically about your written goal and the where you are in meeting that goal.

Start today; write down your inventory of the thing in our life you would like to improve on to make a better you.  Then set your goals, write them down and tell two people.  Remember, tomorrow never comes.

{ 0 comments }

The 80 20 Rule

July 21, 2010

Today I was listening to an audio lesson on the 80/20 rule.  You know, the 20% of the people do 80% of the work concept. In my experience I have found this rule to be pretty much true to life.  Granted the percentages may be off a little and this isn’t a math lesson or [...]

Read the full article →

My Spouse Left…Now What?

July 17, 2010
bh1

I receive so many emails about broken marriages, it is upsetting what satan is doing.  This is republished from February ’08 with additional and what I think is the most important information and resource you can use during this time of separation and/or divorce, the update is listed at the bottom. What do you do [...]

Read the full article →

Driving While Texting…

July 4, 2010

Last week I was almost side swiped by an 18 wheeler. Here I am, driving down the interstate, traffic is flowing pretty good right around at the posted speed of  65 MPH.  By nature I am a very defensive driver and don’t like to be near these big rigs even on a good day.   This [...]

Read the full article →

I Hate Divorce!

July 3, 2010

If the title of this post seems strong, good! It’s meant to be. I can’t think of anything else that I really “hate.” Sure there may be some things I don’t like such as brussel spouts, or other things I don’t care for like someone weaving all over the interstate while they are talking on [...]

Read the full article →

Courageous – From the Creators of Fireproof

July 1, 2010

They are doing it again.   Alex and Stephen Kendrick are in the process of filming a new movie title “Courageous.” You may remember the Kendrick brothers started out with the movie Flywheel (Director’s Cut) then Facing the Giants followed by my personal favorite Fireproof.    Well as of this writing they are in the process of [...]

Read the full article →