How many times have you said to yourself or someone else “I don’t have enough time to do…”?

During a recent money management coaching session I had a woman who was totally overwhelmed.  She felt her life was so busy that the mention of just tracking her daily expenses put her into tears and she proclaimed “I can’t do another thing, my day is too full as it is.”

Sound familiar?  Is your day so full that even just one small additional task will bring you to tears?  I know there have been times in my life that I felt so over loaded there wasn’t one more thing I could add to my plate, plus there were many things on my plate that weren’t getting done or getting done properly.

Consider this all the items in the picture up top represents things that need to be done.  The big rocks are the most important things like, time with Christ, work,  taking care of the kids, relationship with your spouse, taking care of the house such as cooking, cleaning, etc.  Then there are the smaller pebbles, they represent things like volunteering at the church, choir practice, fund raisers for the kids, gardening, exercise, time with friends, and the like.  The sand represents what I would consider time wasters such as Facebook, NetFlix, watching TV, playing video games.

When you fail to properly determine your priorities you find you can’t fit everything you need to do in one day.  Your time management jar looks something like the picture to the right.  You try to cram everything in but the jar is just not big enough or you start to feel you have too much to do.  This is when you get upset, feel resentful and sometimes even feel angry.

What would you say if I told you that you can fit all you need to do in one day if you just plan and prioritize properly?  As Andy Stanley says “Priority Determines Capacity.”  When you put a priority on all of your tasks you will find you not only have time to do what needs to be done but you will also have time to relax and spend time on Facebook or play a video game or two.

It is amazing that when you put God as number one, then work and family, you will have time for choir practice, fund raisers and exercise.  Then have plenty of time for those little things that you enjoy doing (the things you are putting first right now.)  Notice how the picture changes when your priorities are properly determined.

The size of the jar didn’t change, only the priority of how it was filled.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself “what am I putting in my jar first?”

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Yesterday I heard a wonderful little snippet from Kay Arthur of “Precepts Of Life” her reference was:

Proverbs 17:24

“A discerning person keeps wisdom in view,  but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.” CEV

The above text can be interrupted like this; a smart man will keep his eyes on God and God’s word in his heart.  A foolish man is unable to focus his thoughts and can not pursue anything with consistency.

What standard do you see the people around you following?  Even those who profess to be “Christians” what standard have you witness them following?  As a Christian what standard do your friends, family and co-workers see you following?

This society has led us to believe that it is okay to walk out on your husband or wife.  It is okay to talk smack about your spouse.  It is okay to lie and cheat.  It is okay look at pornography.  It is okay to take the Lords name in vein.  Society’s standards lead us to believe that if it feels good and/or you want to do it, then do it.

Do you want to live by society’s standards or Gods standards?  By doing what  is against God’s standards, going against the the Bible are you rebelling against God?

So I ask you, by whose standard do you live by?   If you are telling people you are a Christian do your actions reflect that to others?  Do they reflect the standards of the Bible?  Sure no one is perfect.  In a broken world it is impossible not to make mistakes.  I make mistakes every day.  But living with Christ in your heart it is easier to acknowledge those mistakes, ask God and those you hurt for forgiveness, learn from the mistakes and work toward improving your actions.

It’s your choice….whose standards are you living by?

Yesterday I was listening to a audio clip from Zig Ziglar on keeping your word.  Something Zig said during the talk was “If your word is no good you are no good.”  When I first heard that I thought it was a little harsh, but after I thought about it a bit I realized he was right on.

The only thing we are known for in this world is our character and part of character, actually the biggest part, is your “word.”

We have all met someone who did not keep a promise right?  How did that make you feel about them?  Now I am not talking about those who have good intent who miss a deadline due to extenuating circumstances, I am talking about those people who continually do not keep their word, their promise or their commitments.

We Want To Be Trusted

The reason I ask you how it made you feel about the person who basically let you down is I want you to ask yourself if you want others to feel that way about you?  Chances are the answer is no.  We all want to be trusted.  We want to be known as someone who has a  good character, a person with good qualities.  To be known as a person like this you must be able to keep your word.

Do you know anyone who continually does not keep their word, promise or commitment?    They do not put a value on their own word.    These  people usually do not have many friends or are unable to keep friends.  Many are divorced as they did not keep their word to their spouse.  Many are unable to hold a job, why because they come in late or not at all, yes, that is also part of keeping your word.

Words are powerful.  Words make a dramatic difference in your life and the lives of those around you.  Words can be used as a weapon or as a blanket of comfort.  Words can be used in love or as emotional abuse.

Friends, please think twice before you speak your words.  If you make a promise to someone keep that promise, if you can’t keep that promise explain why as well as when the promise will be kept.   It will create a level of trust between you and the other person.

Turn Things Around

If you are a person who has been known as someone who doesn’t keep your word or your commitments, known as someone who can not be trusted, you can turn things around if you want to.  It may take time but if you are willing and consistent you can become a person whose word is your bond.   How you ask?  Simply by keeping your word.  It will be a new language for you, but if you want to be known as a person keeps their word, start by meaning what you say, and saying what you mean – keep your word.

Keeping your word is a direct reflection on your character.  Words are not just something to say, they are a representation of what is in your heart and your mind.

It’s a new month.  A good time to start fresh.  A time to make wrongs right, and improve who you are.  What are you going to do this month that will be an improvement over what you did last month?

Some people go from month to month thinking “I hope this month will be different” but yet they don’t do anything to make the month different.  Your life will not change for the good if you don’t put some effort into it.  One definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.”  In other words, this month will be no different for you if you do the same thing you did last month.

Joel Osteen had a great message about continually learning to improve ourselves.  In that message he said the average person is in their car 300 hours a year commuting from place to place.  300 hours!  That is a lot of time trapped in one small location.  What are you doing with that time?  Are you talking on your cell phone?  Listing to the “goober and gomer” show on the radio? Or worse, just sitting there complaining about traffic, which is the least productive thing you can do.

Why not set a goal for yourself this year that anytime you are in the car you will use that time to listen to an inspirational learning CD?  Think how many CD’s you could listen too in 300 hours.  I started this last year by listen to Joel’s “Become A Better You” CDs, it was so good that I must have listened to it seven times or more and each time I took something new from it.  I even bought it for a couple of friends. Anyway, my point is, I spent that time in my car listening to something that I could learn from, I used the time in my car to improve myself and grow both spiritually and emotionally.

So what if you have small children, it is hard to listen to something like that with kids in the car you say.  Well, I don’t have kids, but can only imagine what it is like being in a car with them for a while.  Why not play a game with the kids, have them look for things in nature that is unique, like a special cloud formation, are even seeing a deer  or cow back in the woods off the road.  Then say a prayer with them out loud in the car thanking God for the wonderful cloud formation or what ever the creation from God they may have seen.  It will teach them to appreciate what God has created, and isn’t that better then them playing a video game?

Sometimes, if you are alone in the car, tired from the day, needing some peace and quite, take that time to converse with your Lord.  Talk out loud to Him.  Tell Him about your day, what upset you, thank Him for something that may have happened.  Listen to Him, he will speak to you in ways you may not realize, even by giving you are extra stop light to insure you are not in that accident that just happened up the road a bit.

Time in the car alone is also a good time to pray for others.  Intercede on their behalf.  I pray daily for my covenant husband on my way to work and on the way home as well (I pray for him when I am not in the car too).  Anytime I see a rescue vehicle flying by with lights and sirens on, I say a prayer for not only the drivers in the rescue vehicle but for the person they are on their way to rescue, as it usually means someone is hurting or not feeling well.  I pray for individuals  I see a car accident on the side of the road as their day and possibly their life and the lives of their families has changed sometimes dramatically in an instant.

This morning I had switched vehicles and my teaching CD was in the other car so I was listening to the local Christian music station, when I made a turn I was directly into the most beautiful sunrise I have seen in a long time.  I took that moment to thank God for letting me see that, and showing me that He lives and will be guiding me though my day.  Sadly, I admit that in the past I have not taken in the beauty of what our Lord presents us through His creations.  But just seeing that sunrise was a reminder, a small learning experience that I must always stay focused on the “Son.”

How is praying a learning or growth experience?  It puts others first rather than yourself, and we all need to learn that.  It teaches us to be a little less selfish and self-centered and more selfless.

So start this month, what will you do to become a better you?  What will you do to “make this month different than last month?”

Make a goal to change what you do while you are in your car.  Take that travel time of 300 hours this year and make it more than just getting from point A to point B.  Make it a self improvement journey!

May God Bless you!

Reposted from January 2009

I am pleased to announce this article has been featured on the following site:

The Chat at the Cooler April 2009 Personal Change Carnival

Have you gone through a divorce?  It is one of the most painful and stressful things a person can go through.

Sure over time the pain lessons a bit, but it is still there after all a piece of your heart has been ripped out.  The pain is there because God never intended us to go through divorce.  He intended marriage to be for life.  Society today makes is seem like divorce is a part of marriage, but it is NOT.

Marriage should be taken seriously, as a covenant.  It should not be something that is entered into based on a “feeling” but rather a lifetime commitment.   Since my divorce I have had friends and family say to me that “it’s time to move on.”   There have even been times when I thought God was telling me to move on, until I read scripture.

What I realize and believe is that I made a promise to my husband to be married, through sickness and in health, good times and bad.  Yes man’s law may see me as divorced, but I believe God sees me as married, and this is one of those “bad” times that my vows referred to.

Most people do move on after divorce, they meet someone else, many times get married again.  As much as the statistics say that one in two first marriages end in divorce, the divorce rate for second and third marriages are even higher than that.  Sure some second or more marriages do survive, but they are very rare.  One thing is for sure, without God as the foundation in a marriage, even if marriage does survive, it will not be a little heaven on earth as God intends.

No, I don’t think it is time to move on.  Yes, it is lonely at times without the man I love next to me sharing life with me.  Regardless of that earthly loneliness I have God next to me, supporting me as long as I look to and focus on Him which I admit there are times I do lose site of Him.  I look away, I get angry, resentful, I struggle, however, I can choose to live that way and to be honest it is easier but that doesn’t make it right.  Just like leaving a marriage is much easier than working on it for the long haul….easy doesn’t make it right.   Anyway, I can choose to live angry, or I can choose to live happy, be positive, trust in God.

Trusting in God, it is not easy at times.  It would be easier to look for a replacement just as most in today’s world do.  What would that say about my character, my relationship with Christ?  I am a Christian, I don’t believe as a Christian I should do what the world expects or what most in the world would do.  I believe it is my responsibility as a Christian to, as the best I can do in a broken world, reflect Christ in my life.  I am not perfect, I falter every day but each and every day I have the opportunity to learn and become stronger for the next day.

Time to move on?  Yes, but not as the world see it, it is  time to build a new deeper relationship with Christ, focus my time and energy on God as I pray for my covenant husband.

Do I know what God has in store for my life as it relates to my covenant husband?  No, but I do know it is not to seek out a replacement for my husband.  I do believe I have gone through this season for a reason, that God does have a plan for me, and I will be patient and wait on Him, to wait on His timing in my life, not my own and not the timing of this world

Several years ago at church the pastor had an example on stage where he stood on a chair and asked one of the elders to stand in front of him on the floor.  The pastor then attempted to pull the elder up onto the chair.  He wrapped his arms around the elder, under his arms and pulled up.  The pastor struggled and strained but as much as he tried with all his body weight and strength he could not pull the elder up onto the chair.

Then the pastor asked the elder to attempt to pull him down off the chair.  The elder grabbed a hold of the pastor’s hand and with one quick pull and step forward the pastor came down off the chair.  The elder used hardly any energy what-so-ever.

It was a powerful example of how easy it was to be pulled down during good or bad times in our life.

There was a time in my life where I was the one standing on the floor pulling people down.  I am ashamed to admit it but to be totally honest this came to light when someone I love dearly made a blanket statement to me of “you are always so critical.”  Wow, I can still hear those words ring out in my head.    That statement caused me to do some serious self reflection and change.

The statement was correct, I was critical.  I truly had the best of intent and that was to help.   I didn’t realize that my help was coming across as being critical to the other person.  I never wanted to hurt anyone, but sadly I am afraid I did.  In my effort to do well, to help someone, I was actually pulling them down.  Since being told that almost three years ago, I have done my best to correct that critical way and be more positive.  I’ll admit it hasn’t always been easy.  I realized that my natural language was a critical one; I now strive to pull people up in a positive way, yes, I still struggle, but each and every day is a day I use to improve.

What I have found in doing so is exactly what the pastor demonstrated on the stage.  It is difficult to pull people up.  There are people all around continually trying to pull me back down.  I have to make a conscience effort to reflect on what they maybe going through in their life, I say a prayer for them, and hope that my small positive seed germinates and maybe one day sprouts in their life.

Maybe you have found this in your life as well, you try to do something positive but you have those around you who point out all the negative sides of what you are doing.

People who see the glass half empty instead of half full.  Those who say it is partly cloudy instead of partly sunny.  Yes, it is easier to pull people down than to pull them up, to encourage, to support.

Today I challenge you to go all day being positive.  Say encouraging things, rather than discouraging things.  See the glass half full.  Talk positively to yourself.  If you catch yourself evening thinking something negative correct yourself out loud and say something positive about the topic you were just negative about.

Can you image what this world would be like if we pulled each other up?  Let’s help each other in a positive way today.

You are a good person, share that goodness.

Most of us are continually growing.  We do so because we want to improve what we have and who we are.  This is not to say we are unhappy with our current life, just that most people don’t like to be stagnant.  Just as we should never stop learning, we should also never stop growing and improving ourselves.

Improving our life usually means some sort of change.  Most of us don’t like change.  Change means work, and honestly, most people don’t like to work hard even if it is something worthwhile.

There are some people who think that improving their life means running away from their current life and completely starting over, leaving behind commitments, relationships, sometimes even children to create a whole new life without trying to work on the life they had.  Can’t say I recommend that as a solution because nine-in-a-half times out of ten they are running from themselves rather than their circumstances.  Once the newness of the new life wears off they will be searching again for the next place to run.  This isn’t improving who you are; it is running from who you are.  Sadly you can never run from the person staring at you in the mirror.

When I talk about a better life I mean improving the life you have, the life you committed to, the person that you are.

How do you make your life better?  First off, take an inventory of what in your life you would like to improve.  Write these things down.  Would you like to lose weight?  Move out of an apartment and into a house?  Be a better parent?  Maybe, you would like to get a degree, or change occupations.

Next, set some specific goals.  For example, if you want to lose weight, don’t just set a goal of “one day I want to lose weight.”  Rather, set the goal of “I will lose 20 pounds by September 30 of this year”  or “Starting this Monday I will spend one dedicated hour each night with my kids, I won’t talk on the phone, work on the computer or watch TV, this is time I will spend with my kids, getting to know them.”  These are just a couple of examples.  My point is set the goal to be as specific as possible. If it is too open ended you are giving yourself an out, time to procrastinate or make excuses and most likely won’t strive hard enough to meet the goal.

The key is to write down your inventory, and most importantly, write down your goals.  To increase your commitment to yourself, tell at least two people who are close to you in your life what your goals are.  Ask them to be your accountability partners.  Ask them to ask you specifically about your written goal and the where you are in meeting that goal.

Start today; write down your inventory of the thing in our life you would like to improve on to make a better you.  Then set your goals, write them down and tell two people.  Remember, tomorrow never comes.

Today I was listening to an audio lesson on the 80/20 rule.  You know, the 20% of the people do 80% of the work concept.

In my experience I have found this rule to be pretty much true to life.  Granted the percentages may be off a little and this isn’t a math lesson or a post about absolutes.   Mainly though, as a rule most people are lazy and a few people are go-getters and/or over achievers.  The majority are more than happy and willing to let the over-achievers do most of the work.  Oddly, the under achievers are very willing to accept the accolades for the work the over-achievers accomplished, but I digress.

The point here is not what other people are doing or not doing, it is about how to improve how you and I do our work.   Are you working as efficiently as possible?   Wouldn’t it be better if we did 80% of our work in 20% of our time?   How you say?

It is about working smarter not harder.  How many times have you started a task and then been distracted by a thought of another task that you pick up quickly, get it done, then back to your first task.  You know have to ramp your thought process back up on the first task…which takes time.  I don’t know about you but I will admit, many times why I get distracted on another task, besides that I have a lot on my plate, is because I am procrastinating on getting the task at hand completed.

We usually procrastinate on things we don’t want to do, or things that are overwhelming us in some way.  I have also found that once I have completed the task I was procrastinating over, I look back and wonder why I didn’t get it done quicker, that it really wasn’t as bad as I made it to be in my mind.

We have to be proactive to get results.  To make things happen.  We have to be proactive to move forward in life.

What I found to be a great help is to get a group of tasks completed maybe in three hours and then allow myself “free time” for a period of time say 60 to 90-minutes give or take.  This refreshes me enough so that I actually work more efficiently and quicker in the next two or three hours.

Let’s look at this a little deeper, is it possible that 80% of the time you use up is only giving you 20% of your overall happiness?  If that is true, wouldn’t you want to strive to have a life that 20% of the time you spend  provides you 80% of your overall happiness?

As an example, and again, I am not talking absolutes, but more in weights.  What if you had no bills except living expenses, you spend only 10 minutes paying bills, no credit cards or other debt.  That gives you the majority of your day, your month, your life, living happy and free knowing you have not debt.  Sure this is a broad example, but it is the thought I am trying to get across.

What about your job?  You spend eight, nine, maybe 10 or more hours a day at work, not counting travel time to and from.  Is that job providing you 80% of your happiness?  If you are like 80% of the population, the answer is no.

Yes, we need income to sustain life, but is there a rule somewhere that says we can’t be happy in the pursuit of that income?   I say no.

I firmly believe if 80% of our life is spent on things that make us happy.  Things of quality in our life such as family and friends, and 20% of our time is spent on responsibilities to maintain life and that time is used efficiently, I know I would have a much fuller and richer life.

Time to start re-organizing time.  Time to work smarter not harder.

I receive so many emails about broken marriages, it is upsetting what satan is doing.  This is republished from February ’08 with additional and what I think is the most important information and resource you can use during this time of separation and/or divorce, the update is listed at the bottom.

What do you do when your husband or wife decides to leave the marriage? You believe in your marital vows, “til death do us part.” You were committed to working on the marriage as a team, only to realize that belief and commitment was yours, not your spouses.

You believed in the person you married, of course you did or you would not have married them. There was no physical abuse and you don’t believe infidelity played a role, but your spouse says “I just don’t love you anymore and I am leaving.” Oh, how that hurts like no other hurt.

This is just one scenario of a marriage break up, how ever it happens the hurt is still the same.

Marriage is about two whole people agree and commit to work together as a team. Two who are in love and who believe that love is true devotion rather than a passing “feeling.” When one person in the team stops working, gives up and/or runs away, it is impossible for the other to keep the marriage together without God.

When your husband or wife leaves, it is most likely the most hurtful event of your life short of loosing a child to death.

As painful as it is to have your spouse leave you, you will survive with God’s help. You may not think so but you will.

I encourage anyone in this situation to focus on you and God rather than the one who left. Many times, out of love we want to focus on the person who left rather than you. You can’t fix them or change their mind, all you can do is pray for them. You can and must focus on you and God. Decide how you will handle this in your mind and begin healing yourself.

Focus on helping you – right now. You are the most important thing. Understand you are going to grieve, and know the grieving process. This will help you flow through your emotions, emotions that you must experience in order to heal properly from this terrible hurt. If you don’t feel these emotions, and cycle through the grieving process, you will not be able to build a healthy relationship in the future nor will you be prepared if your former spouse wishes to reconcile. Your emotions must come out in one way or another, feel the hurt now, and heal from it.

The stages of grief are below. You won’t go through them in order, and you may experience multiple stages at once. You may even go back to a stage you thought you had already passed through. This is all normal. The important thing is to not to get stuck in any one stage for an extended period of time. You should be progressing toward healing, and no one can tell you how long it will take. It may be one year or some professionals say up to five years. Regardless of the length of time, in order for you to heal properly you need to process the grief fully.

The stages in the grieving process are:

• Shock/Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Focus on your healing as well as your security. Work out, eat better, and surround yourself with support. If you have children focus on them to ensure their well being and help with their security.

As difficult as it may seem, this is a time when you need to make yourself a better individual, we all have room to improve who we are. Separation and/or divorce are a major life change and setback, but this can help you become a better individual. Take this time to rebuild your relationship with God, look to Him for strength. It is a time to look inside at who you are, and who you want to be so you can come out on the other side stronger, for yourself and for those around you.

Believe God is by your side during this terrible journey, He will see you through. He will be with you when you feel alone, reach out to Him, His hand is there, and His arms will hold and comfort you. He will never let go or let you down, all you have to do is reach out to Him. God has a plan in your life, trust in Him, give it a try and truly believe, He will help you heal.

Look to your friends and family, they love you and will be there for you. They may not understand what you are going through, especially if they have never experienced a separation or divorce before, you may have to ask specific ways in which you need their help as they may not know how to help.

Meet with a Christian counselor so you don’t loose your focus and to provide you with a third party perspective.  Be careful a true Christian counselor will not encourage “bashing” of your spouse but should help you focus on your emotional healing, self improvement, as well as some biblical instruction regarding forgiveness, restoration etc.

The end of a marriage is not the end of your life, yes, it will feel like it is, and it is the end of some hopes and dreams, but it is also the time to create new dreams, hopes and goals. To relearn who you are as an individual, to become a better parent, learn a new career, build new friendships.

Will you have set backs? You bet. Will you have some good days and then bounce back feeling sad and alone….of course you will. But as you heal, these set backs will come further and further apart, and be shorter in duration.

We can all get through our challenges in life successfully as long as you communicate your feelings and process your emotions in a healthy way. Create a plan, set goals for your day, week, and month.

Channel negative emotions like anger into positive productive tasks rather than something destructive. Positive tasks would be something like cleaning the house like you have never cleaned before, doing landscape work around the house, and detailing your car.

Keep your head clear, don’t try to drawn your hurt, anger and fear in drinking or drugs, all this will do is numb important feelings you need to feel and draw out your grieving process because as soon as you sober up, you will feel those feelings on top of not feeling good from a hangover. Try your best not to be self destructive.

Keep your kids involved as well, they too are going through some emotional challenges as well. Explain to them in a way they will understand at their age, that the break up of Mom and Dad is not their fault and that you both still love them just the same.

Focus on the future not the past, I know it is and will be hard, but you will be okay from this. God will see to that. You will be a better person in the long run.

UPDATE: Since I first wrote this in February ‘08, I have found a wonderful faith based site on building your relationship with Christ as well as standing for the healing of your marriage, regardless of your legal marital status.

If you believe that through the covenant of Christ you are still married and you are willing to follow God’s will in your life, hand all things over to Him. Maybe you feel the need for further encouragement, please visit RejoiceMinistries be sure to look at the bottom of each web page on this site for the important and informative links.

Rejoice Ministries has produced a wonderful PDF document on “When Your Spouse Walks Out” I encourage you to download it and read it; it is very helpful as an additional resource.

Pray, not just for God’s will in your life, but in the life of the loved one who has left you. Pray for your ability to forgive the one who has hurt you, once you forgive them, your healing process will proceed much faster. You will more clearly hear God speaking to you in His still small voice and you will begin to learn what His plan is in your life.

“I’m Broke….But my kids are happy.”

This is what the lady in front on me at Kmart said yesterday when we were inline as she was unloading a cart full of toys.  She went on to say she had two kids and their birthday’s were coming up. Her posture confirmed her words, she seemed defeated….broke. She seemed guilty knowing she couldn’t afford all that she was buying by the way she was “justifying” her actions by telling complete strangers “but my kids are happy.”

The toys were for kids in the age range of three to five, and I have to admit I felt sad for her as she paid with a credit card. It was as if she was using her last bit of credit limit to portray to her kids “all is okay” and here is more stuff to prove it.

So much ran through my mind, as I watched her, I wanted to reach out and offer advice on how to not be broke, how to stop the cycle of paying with money she didn’t have. I wanted so badly to show her there was a way out from under all that stress, but of course the situation and timing was just not right…she was through the line and on her way.

How many times have you had that same thought process of “I’m broke” but feel like you have to keep paying out money you don’t have to keep someone happy?

I once knew a man who was broke, he was divorced and had a son. He gave his son anything and everything. Video games, two new cars, all kinds of “stuff” which kept the father broke and the son lacking in what he really needed….quality time with his Dad.

So often I talk to people who are in debt, who justify staying in debt because they “have” to buy more “stuff” for someone. Not realizing, that many times the one thing our loved ones want and need, it quality time with us. Quality time that is free to give, but many times the hardest to give.

Why is quality time so hard to freely give to our loved ones? Why is it so much easier to go to the store, buy some stuff,  hand it over with a smile and be on our way while our loved one plays with their new stuff?

Personally, I think it is because we have been to pre-occupied with ourselves. We, as a society, seem to have become desensitized to emotional intimacy with family and loved ones. We have become focused on anything that we can that takes us away from talking to one another, to learning about each other. We have become afraid of listening if that listening involves anything but “happy thoughts.” So what do we do? We focus on stuff. Many times that stuff keeps us further and further away from building deep bonds with people. Video games, TV’s, internet, movie tickets, toys and the like.

All this stuff, keeps us in debt as well as keeps us from knowing those around us. We feel guilt for buying (because we can’t afford it) and we feel guilt from not buying, because we don’t really want to give what is needed that is personal time with others.

Getting out of debt has more benefits than just not owing someone else money, it provides you the ability to give of yourself buy not buying stuff. It opens up the possibility of becoming more creative of how to give of yourself, rather than spending money.

Giving of yourself is far more difficult than spending money, it is also far more rewarding, both in the short term and the long term.

Think about it…take the risk – give a part of you to someone rather than buying something.

Re-posted from March 2008