committment

Do You Need An Eye Examination?

by Kim on August 20, 2010

As you know I am a firm believer in marriage.  I believe in standing for your marriage, and that God can restore hurting and broken marriages.

Everyday I receive a “Charlyne Cares” devotional in my inbox from Rejoice Marriage Ministries.  Each day has an excellent message of encouragement and/or a teaching on building a deeper relationship with Christ.

Today the Charlyne Cares message was one that I felt needed to be repeated and passed on.  So many men and women who are married have wondering eyes.   I have never understood how a person who is married and truly committed to their spouse even consider looking at another person in a lustful way, but it happens every day.  I work with both men and women who are married and profess to be Christians who I have heard make inappropriate comments about a person of the opposite sex in a way that a non-Christian and non-married individual would make.  What is that all about?  What does that say about their commitment to their spouse, their own character as well as their relationship with Christ?

Same holds true with conversations I hear of what people are watching on TV, passing around in emails, and sending internet links to.  Content that even a single person shouldn’t be looking at.

The below devotional says it better than I can.  I am honored that Rejoice Marriage Ministries gave me permission to reprint this article.   May it help you examine your own eyes and reevaluate your own commitments.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has
already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right
eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is
better for you to lose one part of your body than for your
whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand
causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better
for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body
to go into hell. It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his
wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you
that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone
who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:27-32

Do you need an eye examination?  Are your eyes seeing everything
properly?  The Lord wants you to see the world through His eyes
since you are a believer.  Are you thinking that your beloved
husband, wife or another loved one has the spiritual problem, but
you are fine?

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way
you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you
use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck
of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the
plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me
take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a
plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out
of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the
speck from your brother’s eye.”  Matthew 7:1-5

Today make time when you do your devotions to do a self-
examination as I talked about protecting your eyes from the
temptation of sin and from the temptations of the world in
yesterday’s devotional.  Think of different ways that you may be
sinning before God with your eyes.  Ask the Lord, to reveal areas
in your life that need to be changed.

I know that I can say that men think differently than women, but
I also have heard many powerful sermons from true men of God who
say that men need to ask their Lord to be the policeman of
their eyes; to blow the whistle when they are about to run a red
light and have a serious or fatal accident.  Men often want to
make excuses, but I have read Proverbs, Chapters 1 through 9,
which teaches each of us about receiving wisdom and instructions
for running from the wayward seductive wife or adulteress.

“My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your
mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten
them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when
you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will
speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a
light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life,
keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of
the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or
let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces
you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very
life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes
being burned?”  Proverbs 6:20-27

Our eyes can get each of us in so much trouble, if we do not
allow the Holy Spirit to be our sight detector, beeping in our
ears, “. . .  Don’t take a second look.  Do not play rewind on
that commercial and look at him or her again.  You do not need to
watch that television show.  Beware, do not go to that web site,
block it.  Why are you reading that type of book?  Why are you
watching that soap opera?  Do you know who you are chatting with
on this web site?”  Let me say that we women must do our part and
dress modestly as not to entice men.

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life
according to your word. Fulfill your promise to your servant,
so that you may be feared. Take away the disgrace I dread, for
your laws are good. How I long for your precepts! Preserve my
life in your righteousness.”  Psalm 119:37-40

“Thank You, Lord, for Your discernment and warnings to each of us
all the time.  Thank You, for Your love and Your correcting us
when we could be tempted by the enemy to go on a detour road very
easily.  Lord, protect me and my husband or wife from the evil
ones’ tricks and schemes.  In Jesus’ Name I pray.  Amen.”

Lord, may I desire to read Your Word daily to keep my heart
pure.  I hope you will desire to start memorizing promises from
the Lord to speak out loud to the enemy for him to flee from me
and our family.

“I call with all my heart; answer me, O Lord, and I will obey
your decrees. I call out to you; save me and I will keep your
statutes. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my
hope in your word. My eyes stay open through the watches of
the night, that I may meditate on your promises.”
Psalm 119:145-148

What promises has the Lord given you since you started praying
for your marriage restoration?  May I share a scripture that
should get you excited and praising the Lord.  Believe in what
the Lord has said and He will do this in His proper timing.

“God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that
he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does
he promise and not fulfill?”  Numbers 23:19

May you and I never forget that the enemy, Satan is attacking
your spouse by deceiving and blinding them against the standards
of godliness and Christ-likeness.  Instead they have been enticed
and conformed to the world’s ways.  You and I must always be
careful that we are not blinded by satan to the temptations of
the world in different ways.  Oh, be careful that you do not
become prideful or self-righteous in standing for the restoration
of your marriage.

May your heart’s desire be to do the will of God regarding your
life and marriage.  Today pray that your husband or wife will be
set free from the cravings of the sinful nature and the lust of
the eyes and heart.  Our Lord Jesus Christ is the “Bondage
Breaker.”  Believe in your Lord’s mighty power for your spouse
and for your marriage to be set free from the enemy’s grip.  That
is why Jesus came and died on the cross.  He has paid the price
for dying for all man’s sins by shedding His Blood at Calvary!

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone
loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For
everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of
his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not
from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires
pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives
forever.”  I John 2:15-17

God bless,
Charlyne Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.

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Stressed Out!

by Kim on August 13, 2010

This week there was a news story about a man who had a total melt down while on the job.  He had been a flight attendant for Jet Blue for several years.  He stated that a passenger struck him in the forehead with a carry on from the overhead bin.  From there the story seems to be a bit of a “he said she said” type scenario since 40 passengers that were interviewed did not confirm the story of the flight attendant.

None-the-less, this man had a melt down over what he perceived the incident to be, he said some choice words to the passengers, grabbed some beer, pulled the emergency shoot and slid off the plane (thank goodness they were on the ground when this occurred.)

There are many in the media as well as people I have talked to who are hailing this man as “the working man’s hero.”  Really?  A hero for bad behavior?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know of many people who haven’t at one time or another dreamed of standing up in a meeting and saying “I’ve had it, I Quit” and walk out never to return.  Maybe even dreamed of telling your boss just exactly what you think of him then walking out.  But as mature individuals, with financial responsibilities that not  the best approach to a situation.  I guess the key word in that last sentence was “mature.”

There is a reason I won’t publish the name of this man from Jet Blue, I don’t think what he did was right and he should not be rewarded by seeing his name in print.  Besides anyone who has been following the news can figure it out since I mentioned Jet Blue.   Yes, I know working with people day in and day out is stressful.  Let’s face it, we have all gotten frustrated when traveling, in a restaurant, at the car mechanics, or anywhere else there are a number of people trying to get services.  We are all under extreme stress in this day in age.  We are overwhelmed and stretched too thin with our jobs, home life, finances, and lack of time to get it all done.  Our patience are worn down to the nub.  However, that does not give us as consumers/customers the right to beat up on the person or people attempting to provide us service.  Nor does it give those providing that service the right to go off on us either.

There are ways of handling stress and throwing a temper tantrum like a three year old is not the proper way to express our feelings.  You know days, weeks many times months ahead of time that you are feeling stressed out.   That is the time to take a few days off work to unwind a bit.  If that doesn’t help then I would highly recommend contacting your employer EAP (Employee Assistance Program) for some counseling, most large businesses offer this type of service for free.  If you are in a smaller company and those type of services are not offered, seek out a counselor, or go talk to your pastor, friend, spouse, someone…..talk it out.   There are self help options available, one of which is an excellent ebook by James Klotzle titled “God In Our Stress – A Christian Guide to Stress Management“  actually regardless of the level of stress you have right now, this book is really a must read for everyone I highly recommend it.  It is very cost effective, I think around $10 and worth every penny.   Anyway I digressed a bit there, most people just need to talk out or properly think out their frustrations, once it is out and not bottled up you will be amazed how much better you will feel.

The bottom line is what this man did was totally wrong.  He embarrassed his employer, as well as himself, although I don’t think he is capable of realizing that.  It is clear he needs some sort of counseling, but let me be clear on this point, what he did, how he acted out his feelings was not that of a man who should be considered “the working man’s hero.”  He is an example of what not to do.   He is an example of how NOT to act out your stress and emotions.   He is NOT a hero, in my opinion he is a selfish and self centered individual.  His actions could have hurt someone, and I am sure he never considered that.  It was not Jet Blue’s fault, it was not the passengers fault, his actions were his own responsibility and they were a very poor example of how we as human beings act in times of stress.

Somehow through all this I pray this man will seek the proper help, that he will gain just a bit a maturity through this event.  I pray that we as a society will not glorify bad behavior but rather call it what it is, an example of what NOT to do.

Thinking about our own personal lives, how are this man’s actions any different than that of a spouse of decides they are going to leave a marriage because they are “fed up?”  If you are considering walking out please reconsider.  Seek help, counsel, talk out what you are feeling.  Don’t let your anger fester to the point where you pull the shoot on your marriage or your job for that matter without doing it the right way.  It is easy to just slid away, but as you see now in the example of the Jet Blue guy, he now has to deal with the consequences.  Lawyers are involved, he may lose his job (rightfully so).  Once everyone stops touting him as a hero and the 15 minutes of fame are over, what will he have?  A bad reputation.

Again, this is example is no different than when a spouse leaves the home sure there are the “15-minutes” of fame and glory, but sooner or later the reality will hit as to the type of person you really are.  Who you represent to your friends and family whom you left behind.  Your character is out in the open exposed for all to see.  Then what do you have?

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