I receive so many emails about broken marriages, it is upsetting what satan is doing.  This is republished from February ’08 with additional and what I think is the most important information and resource you can use during this time of separation and/or divorce, the update is listed at the bottom.

What do you do when your husband or wife decides to leave the marriage? You believe in your marital vows, “til death do us part.” You were committed to working on the marriage as a team, only to realize that belief and commitment was yours, not your spouses.

You believed in the person you married, of course you did or you would not have married them. There was no physical abuse and you don’t believe infidelity played a role, but your spouse says “I just don’t love you anymore and I am leaving.” Oh, how that hurts like no other hurt.

This is just one scenario of a marriage break up, how ever it happens the hurt is still the same.

Marriage is about two whole people agree and commit to work together as a team. Two who are in love and who believe that love is true devotion rather than a passing “feeling.” When one person in the team stops working, gives up and/or runs away, it is impossible for the other to keep the marriage together without God.

When your husband or wife leaves, it is most likely the most hurtful event of your life short of loosing a child to death.

As painful as it is to have your spouse leave you, you will survive with God’s help. You may not think so but you will.

I encourage anyone in this situation to focus on you and God rather than the one who left. Many times, out of love we want to focus on the person who left rather than you. You can’t fix them or change their mind, all you can do is pray for them. You can and must focus on you and God. Decide how you will handle this in your mind and begin healing yourself.

Focus on helping you – right now. You are the most important thing. Understand you are going to grieve, and know the grieving process. This will help you flow through your emotions, emotions that you must experience in order to heal properly from this terrible hurt. If you don’t feel these emotions, and cycle through the grieving process, you will not be able to build a healthy relationship in the future nor will you be prepared if your former spouse wishes to reconcile. Your emotions must come out in one way or another, feel the hurt now, and heal from it.

The stages of grief are below. You won’t go through them in order, and you may experience multiple stages at once. You may even go back to a stage you thought you had already passed through. This is all normal. The important thing is to not to get stuck in any one stage for an extended period of time. You should be progressing toward healing, and no one can tell you how long it will take. It may be one year or some professionals say up to five years. Regardless of the length of time, in order for you to heal properly you need to process the grief fully.

The stages in the grieving process are:

• Shock/Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Focus on your healing as well as your security. Work out, eat better, and surround yourself with support. If you have children focus on them to ensure their well being and help with their security.

As difficult as it may seem, this is a time when you need to make yourself a better individual, we all have room to improve who we are. Separation and/or divorce are a major life change and setback, but this can help you become a better individual. Take this time to rebuild your relationship with God, look to Him for strength. It is a time to look inside at who you are, and who you want to be so you can come out on the other side stronger, for yourself and for those around you.

Believe God is by your side during this terrible journey, He will see you through. He will be with you when you feel alone, reach out to Him, His hand is there, and His arms will hold and comfort you. He will never let go or let you down, all you have to do is reach out to Him. God has a plan in your life, trust in Him, give it a try and truly believe, He will help you heal.

Look to your friends and family, they love you and will be there for you. They may not understand what you are going through, especially if they have never experienced a separation or divorce before, you may have to ask specific ways in which you need their help as they may not know how to help.

Meet with a Christian counselor so you don’t loose your focus and to provide you with a third party perspective.  Be careful a true Christian counselor will not encourage “bashing” of your spouse but should help you focus on your emotional healing, self improvement, as well as some biblical instruction regarding forgiveness, restoration etc.

The end of a marriage is not the end of your life, yes, it will feel like it is, and it is the end of some hopes and dreams, but it is also the time to create new dreams, hopes and goals. To relearn who you are as an individual, to become a better parent, learn a new career, build new friendships.

Will you have set backs? You bet. Will you have some good days and then bounce back feeling sad and alone….of course you will. But as you heal, these set backs will come further and further apart, and be shorter in duration.

We can all get through our challenges in life successfully as long as you communicate your feelings and process your emotions in a healthy way. Create a plan, set goals for your day, week, and month.

Channel negative emotions like anger into positive productive tasks rather than something destructive. Positive tasks would be something like cleaning the house like you have never cleaned before, doing landscape work around the house, and detailing your car.

Keep your head clear, don’t try to drawn your hurt, anger and fear in drinking or drugs, all this will do is numb important feelings you need to feel and draw out your grieving process because as soon as you sober up, you will feel those feelings on top of not feeling good from a hangover. Try your best not to be self destructive.

Keep your kids involved as well, they too are going through some emotional challenges as well. Explain to them in a way they will understand at their age, that the break up of Mom and Dad is not their fault and that you both still love them just the same.

Focus on the future not the past, I know it is and will be hard, but you will be okay from this. God will see to that. You will be a better person in the long run.

UPDATE: Since I first wrote this in February ‘08, I have found a wonderful faith based site on building your relationship with Christ as well as standing for the healing of your marriage, regardless of your legal marital status.

If you believe that through the covenant of Christ you are still married and you are willing to follow God’s will in your life, hand all things over to Him. Maybe you feel the need for further encouragement, please visit RejoiceMinistries be sure to look at the bottom of each web page on this site for the important and informative links.

Rejoice Ministries has produced a wonderful PDF document on “When Your Spouse Walks Out” I encourage you to download it and read it; it is very helpful as an additional resource.

Pray, not just for God’s will in your life, but in the life of the loved one who has left you. Pray for your ability to forgive the one who has hurt you, once you forgive them, your healing process will proceed much faster. You will more clearly hear God speaking to you in His still small voice and you will begin to learn what His plan is in your life.

If the title of this post seems strong, good! It’s meant to be. I can’t think of anything else that I really “hate.” Sure there may be some things I don’t like such as brussel spouts, or other things I don’t care for like someone weaving all over the interstate while they are talking on their cell phone, but the only thing that I really hate is divorce.

In the last six months I personally know of four couples who are heading for divorce. Two of which were in the last two weeks. In each case the husband decided that they would enjoy life better without their wife. Three were already involved with another woman, the fourth stated he left to “be alone” but has since found another woman…so much for being alone.

In every case the remaining spouse was very willing to forgive and attempt to work out the issues of their marriage.   In each of the four couples one party was totally unwilling to be honest and truly work on the covenant commitment they made with their spouse.  Two of which lied and went to counseling, even stated things were getting better has they were basically packing their bags.

Three of the couples have children, one couple even experienced two mis-carriages in the effort to start a family, now they have two beautiful daughters and he has just walked away, stating he wants nothing to do with his wife or his daughters.

The longest marriage was 23 years, the shortest 8 years. Two of the couples knew their was something wrong, the other two were totally surprised by their husbands decision to leave.

Why?? Why is it men, and yes even women, think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? For the few prodigals who have read down this far, when the endorphins of this new found life wear off you may find that the grass still needs to be mowed regardless of which side of the fence you are on.

Marriage is for better or worse.  How is it some people think they can just walk away, some even run away to find peace else where instead of living up to their commitment?  Society has glorified divorce, even made it out to be “your right.”

Sure their are biblical reasons for divorce.  But there is no reason for a spouse to leave to seek another or to  seek a self centered life style.  It is just not right, at least not right as far as the Bible says.

The one thing that satan does best is break up marriages, and families. It causes hurt and chaos in so many ways. One is the kids are hurt, many blame themselves for their parents issues. Many kids are confused why there is a counterfeit mom or dad in the picture. Let’s face it, no body can raise, love or care for their kids better than a healthy biological parent.

Another way divorce effects people is at work, when you are going through a divorce your focus is not on your work. You are dealing with emotional strain, plus adding to your normally busy schedule by visiting attorney’s, counselors, mediators, and the like. Some even lose their job due to these distractions.

Yes, I hate divorce! I hate what satan does to marriages. I pray every single day that prodigals will stop listening to the world and satan and start listening to the still small voice of Christ. I pray that these prodigals will return to their covenant spouse.

I pray that the spouse who wants to save their marriage will pray, pray, pray. Prayer and Bible study are the number one ways to save your marriage. Focus more on God, build a relationship with Him. In addition, as humans we want something from this world to study as well that will help, that is why I have a link to “Save Your Christian Marriage” on this site as well as always recommend Rejoice Marriage Ministries for support. If you hate divorce like I do, please use both of these resources to help save and heal your marriage.

Also, while your praying for your own marriage, please pray for every marriage, that they will be surrounded by a hedge of protection against satan and his evil attack against families and marriages all around the world.  Divorce must be stopped, it doesn’t help anyone and hurts so many.  I know, I have gone through a divorce, I didn’t study enough, I didn’t have a strong enough relationship with Christ.  I didn’t pray enough.  I hate divorce!

It is meaningless that I hate divorce, listen to what God says, why do so many people go against God?

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty.  So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. Malachi 2:16 (NIV)

Has your husband or wife left your marriage?

When they first left, did you feel a sense of relief?  Not relief that they left, but relief that the consent friction that was occurring in the household has now stopped.   It was relief that even though they made the wrong decision to leave at least a decision was finally made.

That feeling of relief soon turns into the reality that your one flesh husband or wife is gone.  Oh the pain that causes in your heart.  It is a pain like no other pain.  Your heart has just been ripped out of your chest, then ripped in half, thrown on the grown and stumped on.  If your husband or wife has left you, you know the pain I am talking about.

I Know Your Pain

I know that pain personally, I am going through what you may be going through right now.  I cried, actually still do sometimes, I was angry and frustrated, still am sometimes.  After all, you and your husband or wife, stood before God and made a covenant, for better or worse, sick or poor, till death.  You are angry and frustrated because your spouse didn’t hold true to that covenant.  You feel betrayed, and rightfully so.

Who betrayed you?  Oh,  I hear your answer, my wife that’s who!  Or, what do you mean who betrayed me, it was my husband, he was the one who left not me.  Yes, in this world both answers are correct.  But what is the deeper answer.  Your husband or wife didn’t leave because of something you did, sure they may blame it all on you, but the bottom line is they left because they took their eyes off God.  They left because the foundation of your marriage was not set firmly on Christ and satan slipped in.  Satan began his attack on your marriage the second you said “I do” and worked his tactics on each of you until one of you caved to the evil ones deceptions.

Think about it, would you have married your spouse knowing that he or she was going to walk out on you years later?  Of course not, you both married each other believing your marriage would last forever.

Not About Blame

This isn’t about the blame game, the marriage is broken.  Satan at this moment has the upper hand.  Now what are you going to do about it?  Regardless if your husband or wife left, part of your vows were for better or worse, this is the worse part.  Sure man’s law might say you are divorced, you might have been the one who initiated it at the request of your spouse or through your anger of them leaving.  That doesn’t matter, in God’s eyes you are still married. Are you willing to hold true to your covenant vows even though your husband or wife hasn’t?   For better or worse.  If your husband was still home, but sick would you walk away from him or sit by his bed side and nurse him to health?  If your wife had an drug problem, would you walk away from her or get her into a recovery program and support her through her recovery?  Your spouse leaving due to satan’s temptations is no different.  He or she has been taken captive by the evil one.  They have taken their eyes off God, believed the devils lies that life is so much better without you in it.  Believing that they are “free” to live a worldly life, go out with as many women or men as they want.  Maybe they have even been deceived in thinking they have found true love with someone else, a counterfeit replacement of you.  Whatever they are doing or thinking, they are being deceived and have been taken captive by the evil one.

Stand For Your Marriage

Are you willing to stand in the gap for your husband or wife during this time just as you would if they were in ill health or had an addiction problem?  They are a prisoner of satan.  What did your covenant vows mean to you?  Isn’t your husband or wife sick right now with deception from satan?  Aren’t they addicted to the worlds view of life?

Stand for your marriage, stand in the gap for your husband or wife.  Pray for them daily, after all, if you don’t pray for them who will?  Stand for God’s will in both your spouse’s life and yours.   Pray that they will reach up to God and ask for forgiveness.  At the same time, pray for yourself.  Pray that God will make you into HIS image.  The marriage failed because both of you were not grounded in Christ, the foundation was not as strong as it needed to be.  Build your own personal foundation on Christ.  Live your life as Christ directs you.  Pray for your husband or wife.  Let God make changes in both of you.

Get support, standing for your marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do.  It is much harder than living in a broken marriage.  Satan is pulling at us standers every minute of every day to give up.  You need support.  Trust me, support will be hard to find from your friends or family when it comes to standing for a man or woman who walked out on you.  You see your friends and family saw how this person hurt you.  They will not understand how you can stand for someone who treated you so badly.  They have not made the covenant with your spouse and with God… you have.   God will send you someone who will understand your commitment and they will stand with you.  That someone God sends you may be in the form of a ministry.  For me, God sent me to Rejoice Marriage Ministries.  Please visit  their site.  Read their story of divorce and re-marriage.  This is a real couple, who believe in Jesus Christ and their whole ministry is focused on the Bible and God as it relates to marriage restoration.

Like I said I am where you are, I am standing.  I know you are hoping for a miracle, you are wanting to know “when” your husband or wife will return and you are looking for “signs”.  I can tell you the only real answer to the question of when they will return is in God’s timing and only in God’s timing.  Please don’t look for sites on the internet that talk of time-lines, or listen to friends who tell you about the circumstances of what your spouse is doing and with who.  The bottom line is, God has a plan for you in HIS life.  Let God be your spouse for this season.  Rely on HIM, He will give you peace and comfort you need.

Is it possible to fireproof your marriage?

Being married is wonderful; it is also the hardest thing in life that you encounter on a daily basis. It takes learning each others expectations of what being married is all about. It takes understanding, as well as learning to love each other after the “feelings” have worn off. It takes commitment and devotion to each other; it takes a lot of work. With the right foundation, it is possible to fireproof your marriage.

The creators of “Flywheel” and “Facing The Giants” will be releasing a new film titled, “Fireproof.” The movie is about Holt (Kirk Cameron) , a hero fire captain whose constant mantra to his team is, “Never leave your partner behind, especially in a fire.” When his wife tells him she wants a divorce, Holt realizes the contradiction between his commitment to run into a burning building to save a stranger but falling short in his marriage. With the help of his father, Holt takes up the challenging -– and often discouraging — challenge of reviving his marriage.

The movie representation appears to be very inspiring, I encourage you to click here for trailer and keep watch for the release which is September 26, 2008.

After seeing the trailer, and knowing how many people are struggling with relationship issues I felt impressed to add my thoughts on the topic. There is so much on the internet, TV, and day to day interactions that encourage divorce. It is time to spread the word that there are other options to just “giving up” on a marriage.

First let me make it clear, I am in not an expert on relationships. I have unfortunately gone through a divorce and pray for God’s will in restoration of my covenant relationship. In doing so, I have had much time to reflect on what I could have done better as well as mistakes I made.

No marriage is perfect, and no one in a marriage is perfect. It takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage. That is not to say that each person is equally responsible for all the problems in the marriage or the failure, it could be 50/50, 70/30 or even a 95/5 split, either way, each person holds some level of responsible, each person makes mistakes, after all we are human. At some point in time, when living with another individual you will hurt them, not intentionally, but it will happen. You have to acknowledge that hurt, correct it, and sincerely apologize and make it right. Without doing so, you are igniting a spark.

Why is that important to understand when it comes to fireproofing your marriage? I have had several people say to me “yes I am divorced but it wasn’t my fault” or “I am divorced but I did nothing wrong, my spouse just couldn’t handle being married.” When we refuse to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions, we fail to heal properly and are unable to learn from the mistakes and improve in areas that need improvement. Even if the mistakes you made are as little as five percent compared to those of your spouse, they are still mistakes that must be acknowledged and corrected so the future of your relationship or restoration of your marriage will be on improved terms rather than repeating an unhealthy cycle.

Good comes from bad and unwanted events. Use these events to grow from the experience and improve who you are as a person.

So how does a couple fireproof their marriage? First, and foremost, the primary focus must be on God and prayer. Both on an individual basis as well as together as a couple. Pray for each other, and the relationship. Continually pray for a hedge of protection around your marriage. Satan is a professional when it comes to destroying marriages. He plants thoughts in your mind, and sends the wrong people onto your path to get you to think about other things that distract you from your marital commitment, doubt yourself and your spouse.

Satan knows how to make you “think” you deserve better. He can make you “think” and then “believe” that you have the “right” to “hang out with the boys” or “go out with the girls” every night of the week leaving your spouse home alone or alone to deal with the kids. He makes you “think” that it is okay to spend long hours at work after all you are “supporting your family.” There are no limits to the ways he can deceive you into thinking you are justified in neglecting your spouse, regardless of the form of the neglect. He can make your feel so discourage and such a failure that you are almost paralyzed when it comes to being a contributing partner to your marriage. He knows which buttons to push for each person that will affect your marriage. Your button may be very different than my button, but satan knows how to play and where and when to hit.
Satan can make you “think” that your spouse “doesn’t understand you”, and therefore you begin to shut down, stop sharing with your spouse, breaking the emotional intimate connection between the two of you.
He makes you “think” that person at work “understands you so much better than my spouse.” Satan can even convince you that “God sent that other person and it is okay to walk away from your marriage”

God will NEVER give you a reason to walk away from a marriage. That is not to say there may be a season where you separate for your own safety and protection of your family, or to recover from a substance abuse problem, but your focus should be on resolving the issues at hand, your marriage is at stack, do what ever it takes to save it.

That is also not to say there are not Biblical reasons for divorce, infidelity (Matthew 5:32) and abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15). However, just because there is a Biblical reason for divorce, does not mean God likes it. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and would prefer you to work through your issues and restore relationship.

Remember the vows you spoke to each other and to God? Through sickness and health, good times and bad, rich or poor? Marriage is a commitment to each other and God, not a whim. If you focus on that, with God, you are fireproofing your marriage, it will be hard work, but worth it.

Satan is very clever, he has had years of practice breaking up relationships, he likes it because it causes so much hurt and pain, to each spouse, the kids, in-laws, the list is endless. When a marriage fails it touches everyone. Many times it even effects how you function at work; there is no limit to the destruction satan can produce in your life from a failed marriage, if you let him.

Did you catch those last four words…”if you let him.” This convincing
does not take place overnight, it takes, months, sometimes years, many
years before his tactics work. There are some marriages that fall to his
tactics after 37 or more years of marriage.

Do you see the pattern? Marriages are ending because that is what satan
wants, and we, you and I have let it happen by taking our eyes off of
Christ which opens the door for satan to step in.

We all have free will and have the ability to choose good over evil, God over satan. We all can choose not to accept satan’s temptations. He is very clever and can actually temp you in ways you don’t realize is satan. He can do this over time, building little by little until he finally achieves his goal of drawing you farther and farther away from God and eternal life.

Did you know that you can say aloud and command Satan to leave in the name of Jesus Christ that Satan leaves? That doesn’t mean he won’t try to come back, but God is mightier than satan, and the evil one knows he can’t defend himself against the name of Christ.

If you are reading this and rolling your eyes and saying “another bible thumper” and think what I am saying is not true, than that is exactly the type of thought satan wants you to think.

Fifty-one percent of Christians surveyed believe that there is no satan. Think about it, if you believe there is no satan, how easy is it to be deceived? You can’t protect yourself from something you “don’t think exists” right?

So back to the topic at hand, marriages end from the free will and actions of each spouse. If the relationship is not built on strong foundation of Christ, trust, commitment and with daily devotion, prayer and praise to our Lord, how is it possible to properly repel the advances of the evil one?

Have your heard the saying “you are what you eat”, same holds true with your mind. Garbage in, garbage out.

Think about this:

If you wake in the morning, suck down some caffeine (which is a drug), watched the news on TV then on your drive to work listen to the Gomer and Goober morning show on the radio, when you get to work start talking smack with the girls or guys in the office about what a louse your spouse is, where do you think your mind will be focused all day? Godly things or things with a negative slant?

Now what if you got up in the morning, had a piece of fruit and some juice and read a small morning bible passage or devotional, said a small prayer before leaving the house, listened to praise music or an audio CD of a Christian inspirational book on the way to work, then talked to the girls or guys about what a nice time you and your spouse had last night playing games or working in the yard together or just spending time with each other, how do you think your focus and mind will directed? Open to positive Godly things or negative things?

Slow deception:

How often have you looked at your spouse and thought to yourself “he is too fat” or “she doesn’t dress the way I want her to dress, this lady at work dresses nice all the time” or “I hate it when he reads the paper when I am trying to talk to him.” These thoughts are surface thoughts, that may seem harmless but will begin to break down how you view who your spouse really is, and opens your mind to compare your spouse to others around you. Overtime these negative thoughts start you to think a little deeper, maybe start thinking you could do better, that you don’t love your spouse anymore and eventually leave, ending the marriage, maybe for that other person who you “think” is so perfect.

By the way, nobody is perfect, but the evil one may have thinking that way. There are those who are “perfect for us” but they are not perfect. There is a difference. Also, as mentioned above, God will never send you another to replace your spouse, but satan will send you a counterfeit, a fake to deceive you further. Satan may even have you deceived in thinking you are so perfect or such a failure, that no one is good enough for you or you are not good enough for anyone and you are better off being alone.

It is so easy to focus on surface issues. It allows you to point the finger at someone else rather than looking at yourself. Surface issues are hard to resolve, because once one surface item is resolved, another surface item will come up. Satan will continually tell you that you are not satisfied, not content with the person you married or the person you left your spouse for, or with what you yourself are doing to find happiness. Sadly, you will never be satisfied if this is your thought process. Not with someone else, somewhere else nor with yourself.

Once you have broken your marriage, it will be that much easier to break the next marriage, and so on. Why? Because what you are searching for will never be found in an individual or within yourself. It will only be found and satisfied with a real relationship with God. From there your earthly relationships will thrive and survive.

If you and your spouse have a strong relationship with Christ, does that mean that the two of you will never have struggles or argue? Not at all. There may be times when satan may temp you even more so, as this is a challenge for him, he hates happy marriages. The difference is you have a strong foundation through Jesus Christ.

Practice this for a month:

Instead of thinking about all those little surface issues that you think are “so bad” about your spouse, think about those deep qualities of your spouse, the qualities that really matter in a spouse. Such as their commitment to God, their devotion to you. Think about the character of your spouse and their good work ethic. What about their parenting skills, which is a talent in and of itself to be thankful for. Are they a stay at home Mom or Dad? That is hard work. Think about how they took care of you when you were sick. Or how they help out your parents, their in-laws. What ever it is, all spouses have good deep qualities, those that really matter in a relationship. Those characteristics and qualities that make them who they are, the qualities that satan makes you forget. Those are the same qualities that attracted you to them in the first place. The qualities that you fell in love with and committed yourself to through marriage.

As I mentioned above, I am not a relationship expert, I have experienced hurt and pain and share these thoughts in hopes that it may provide some support and encouragement to not take the easy way out of a marriage by divorce. To avoid the devastation a broken marriage brings to the whole family unit. To fireproof your marriage with the a foundation of Christ Jesus, prayer, and satan repellent.

If your marriage has already ended, or you are separated, please visit RejoiceMinistries.com and sign up for Charlyne Cares daily emails, they are full of encouragement as well as biblical direction to help you build a relationship with the Prince of Peace, Christ. Rejoice Ministries was created by a couple who went through bad times and eventually divorced only to remarry two years later. They are living proof that, God does heal hurting marriages and that Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).

Republished from July 2008

I am pleased to announce this article has been featured on the following sites:
The Sixteenth Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life

Carnival of Family Life

Fireproof was released on Friday and I took the afternoon off to see the matinee. The movie is fantastic and a must see for everyone who is married, separated or divorced.

Ladies – Have you ever felt like your husband just doesn’t understand you.  That they have no clue about all the hard work you do?  Have you ever felt bitter or angry that you work all day and then are expected to clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the kids, go shopping, etc, and it still isn’t enough?

Gentlemen – Do you think that all your hard work is not appreciated and that you are not respected?  After all, you work hard all day only to come home to a house that isn’t like YOU think it should be, right?

Has this anger, bitterness and resentment that you have been harboring over the years started to affect your communication and affection toward your spouse?  Has it affected your desire to care about your spouse?  Have you even started to doubt your love for your spouse?  Are you starting to think you would have more peace if you just “got out?”

Catherine & Caleb, the main characters in the movie felt the same.  Neither one had taken the time over their seven year marriage to understand or learn about each other.  They lived their own lives, they grew farther and farther apart.  They were both tempted, and those temptations lead to thoughts and desires of just giving up on their marriage.

As you watch the movie you will find yourself saying “I thought I was the only one going through this.”  Rest assured, you are not and this movie is a testament to that.  Most marriages go through this to some extent, sadly from the divorce statistics, it seems only half survive.  As one line in the movie says “when most people promise ‘for better or for worse’ they only mean for the better” and give up or run away when it gets worse.

Caleb was talking to his dad about the fact that he and Catherine were headed for divorce.  His dad asked him to hold off, just for 40 days and offered him the book “The Love Dare”.  Caleb had enough desire in him to save his marriage that he decided to give it a try, but it was a half hearted try at best.  After a few weeks of trying The Love Dare, Caleb was ready to give up until his dad explains what love is all about, and what it takes to be able to give unconditional love.

This movie has a little bit of everything, it will make you laugh and cry as it touches on nearly every area of life, including work, your parents, even the neighbors.   It is a great reminder of several things:

• God expects us to love our spouse as He loves the church.
• God’s love for us is unconditional, that is the example we are to follow with our spouse by loving them unconditionally as well.
• Love is not a feeling, it is a commitment.
• Marriage is not a contract, it is a covenant for a lifetime.
• With Jesus Christ as our foundation all marriages can succeed, be healed, and restored.

This movie is worth seeing, and I would see it again in a heartbeat.   Please pray it will touch couples nationwide and show that marriage and love is not a fight, but it is something worth fighting for, regardless of the circumstances.