“I’m Broke….But my kids are happy.”

This is what the lady in front on me at Kmart said yesterday when we were inline as she was unloading a cart full of toys.  She went on to say she had two kids and their birthday’s were coming up. Her posture confirmed her words, she seemed defeated….broke. She seemed guilty knowing she couldn’t afford all that she was buying by the way she was “justifying” her actions by telling complete strangers “but my kids are happy.”

The toys were for kids in the age range of three to five, and I have to admit I felt sad for her as she paid with a credit card. It was as if she was using her last bit of credit limit to portray to her kids “all is okay” and here is more stuff to prove it.

So much ran through my mind, as I watched her, I wanted to reach out and offer advice on how to not be broke, how to stop the cycle of paying with money she didn’t have. I wanted so badly to show her there was a way out from under all that stress, but of course the situation and timing was just not right…she was through the line and on her way.

How many times have you had that same thought process of “I’m broke” but feel like you have to keep paying out money you don’t have to keep someone happy?

I once knew a man who was broke, he was divorced and had a son. He gave his son anything and everything. Video games, two new cars, all kinds of “stuff” which kept the father broke and the son lacking in what he really needed….quality time with his Dad.

So often I talk to people who are in debt, who justify staying in debt because they “have” to buy more “stuff” for someone. Not realizing, that many times the one thing our loved ones want and need, it quality time with us. Quality time that is free to give, but many times the hardest to give.

Why is quality time so hard to freely give to our loved ones? Why is it so much easier to go to the store, buy some stuff,  hand it over with a smile and be on our way while our loved one plays with their new stuff?

Personally, I think it is because we have been to pre-occupied with ourselves. We, as a society, seem to have become desensitized to emotional intimacy with family and loved ones. We have become focused on anything that we can that takes us away from talking to one another, to learning about each other. We have become afraid of listening if that listening involves anything but “happy thoughts.” So what do we do? We focus on stuff. Many times that stuff keeps us further and further away from building deep bonds with people. Video games, TV’s, internet, movie tickets, toys and the like.

All this stuff, keeps us in debt as well as keeps us from knowing those around us. We feel guilt for buying (because we can’t afford it) and we feel guilt from not buying, because we don’t really want to give what is needed that is personal time with others.

Getting out of debt has more benefits than just not owing someone else money, it provides you the ability to give of yourself buy not buying stuff. It opens up the possibility of becoming more creative of how to give of yourself, rather than spending money.

Giving of yourself is far more difficult than spending money, it is also far more rewarding, both in the short term and the long term.

Think about it…take the risk – give a part of you to someone rather than buying something.

Re-posted from March 2008

Sometimes you get an email that is so powerful that forwarding to a friend or relative just doesn’t seem enough.

Today, I received one of those emails from my uncle. It is was titled “The Duck & the Devil.” I couldn’t even imagine what this could possible be about so I read in full…and Wow, it hit home.

It is a good reminder that no matter what we have done in the past or what we are doing now, God was and is there watching our every move. No matter the lye, if you cheated, in debt, scared, holding a grudge, have feelings of anger, hatred, bitterness, guilt or shame, no matter what you have done, God was there then and is there now, waiting for you to reach up to Him, ready to forgive – all you have to do is ask Him.

You may be surprised to know that the person you wronged, your friends, parents, spouse, whoever it is will also forgive you, if they haven’t already.

It is the evil one making you think that you can’t change your past, correct a wrong, go home. Whatever the issue, satan will make you feel through pride, guilt and shame that you are such a louse you could never go back to correct your wrong. That is so far from the truth!

The truth is, ask God for forgiveness and all wrongs will be washed away, give Him a chance and then give your family and friends the same chance, take a risk, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

Please read “The Duck & the Devil” – think about it, pray about it, live it.

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back home for dinner.As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, ‘Sally, let’s wash the dishes’ But Sally said, ‘Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.’ Then she whispered to him, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, ‘I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.’ Sally just smiled and said, ‘Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help.’ She whispered again, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s; he finally couldn’t stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, ‘Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.’

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits,
hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)…whatever it is…You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets.

It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved.

Reach up to Him today, ask forgiveness, go to those you have wronged. Start living a life free from guilt and shame.

I am pleased to announce this article has been featured on:

The 235th Christian Carnival