Has your husband or wife left your marriage?

When they first left, did you feel a sense of relief?  Not relief that they left, but relief that the consent friction that was occurring in the household has now stopped.   It was relief that even though they made the wrong decision to leave at least a decision was finally made.

That feeling of relief soon turns into the reality that your one flesh husband or wife is gone.  Oh the pain that causes in your heart.  It is a pain like no other pain.  Your heart has just been ripped out of your chest, then ripped in half, thrown on the grown and stumped on.  If your husband or wife has left you, you know the pain I am talking about.

I Know Your Pain

I know that pain personally, I am going through what you may be going through right now.  I cried, actually still do sometimes, I was angry and frustrated, still am sometimes.  After all, you and your husband or wife, stood before God and made a covenant, for better or worse, sick or poor, till death.  You are angry and frustrated because your spouse didn’t hold true to that covenant.  You feel betrayed, and rightfully so.

Who betrayed you?  Oh,  I hear your answer, my wife that’s who!  Or, what do you mean who betrayed me, it was my husband, he was the one who left not me.  Yes, in this world both answers are correct.  But what is the deeper answer.  Your husband or wife didn’t leave because of something you did, sure they may blame it all on you, but the bottom line is they left because they took their eyes off God.  They left because the foundation of your marriage was not set firmly on Christ and satan slipped in.  Satan began his attack on your marriage the second you said “I do” and worked his tactics on each of you until one of you caved to the evil ones deceptions.

Think about it, would you have married your spouse knowing that he or she was going to walk out on you years later?  Of course not, you both married each other believing your marriage would last forever.

Not About Blame

This isn’t about the blame game, the marriage is broken.  Satan at this moment has the upper hand.  Now what are you going to do about it?  Regardless if your husband or wife left, part of your vows were for better or worse, this is the worse part.  Sure man’s law might say you are divorced, you might have been the one who initiated it at the request of your spouse or through your anger of them leaving.  That doesn’t matter, in God’s eyes you are still married. Are you willing to hold true to your covenant vows even though your husband or wife hasn’t?   For better or worse.  If your husband was still home, but sick would you walk away from him or sit by his bed side and nurse him to health?  If your wife had an drug problem, would you walk away from her or get her into a recovery program and support her through her recovery?  Your spouse leaving due to satan’s temptations is no different.  He or she has been taken captive by the evil one.  They have taken their eyes off God, believed the devils lies that life is so much better without you in it.  Believing that they are “free” to live a worldly life, go out with as many women or men as they want.  Maybe they have even been deceived in thinking they have found true love with someone else, a counterfeit replacement of you.  Whatever they are doing or thinking, they are being deceived and have been taken captive by the evil one.

Stand For Your Marriage

Are you willing to stand in the gap for your husband or wife during this time just as you would if they were in ill health or had an addiction problem?  They are a prisoner of satan.  What did your covenant vows mean to you?  Isn’t your husband or wife sick right now with deception from satan?  Aren’t they addicted to the worlds view of life?

Stand for your marriage, stand in the gap for your husband or wife.  Pray for them daily, after all, if you don’t pray for them who will?  Stand for God’s will in both your spouse’s life and yours.   Pray that they will reach up to God and ask for forgiveness.  At the same time, pray for yourself.  Pray that God will make you into HIS image.  The marriage failed because both of you were not grounded in Christ, the foundation was not as strong as it needed to be.  Build your own personal foundation on Christ.  Live your life as Christ directs you.  Pray for your husband or wife.  Let God make changes in both of you.

Get support, standing for your marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do.  It is much harder than living in a broken marriage.  Satan is pulling at us standers every minute of every day to give up.  You need support.  Trust me, support will be hard to find from your friends or family when it comes to standing for a man or woman who walked out on you.  You see your friends and family saw how this person hurt you.  They will not understand how you can stand for someone who treated you so badly.  They have not made the covenant with your spouse and with God… you have.   God will send you someone who will understand your commitment and they will stand with you.  That someone God sends you may be in the form of a ministry.  For me, God sent me to Rejoice Marriage Ministries.  Please visit  their site.  Read their story of divorce and re-marriage.  This is a real couple, who believe in Jesus Christ and their whole ministry is focused on the Bible and God as it relates to marriage restoration.

Like I said I am where you are, I am standing.  I know you are hoping for a miracle, you are wanting to know “when” your husband or wife will return and you are looking for “signs”.  I can tell you the only real answer to the question of when they will return is in God’s timing and only in God’s timing.  Please don’t look for sites on the internet that talk of time-lines, or listen to friends who tell you about the circumstances of what your spouse is doing and with who.  The bottom line is, God has a plan for you in HIS life.  Let God be your spouse for this season.  Rely on HIM, He will give you peace and comfort you need.

Marriage, sharing your life with another person for life, or at least you thought it was for life.

Have you gone through a divorce, separated or are currently living in a hurting marriage?  I understand your pain, but there is hope through Jesus Christ.

When we get married we don’t do it with the thought process of getting divorced year later.  We get married because we have made a choice, yes a choice not a feeling, to love our spouse.   All marriages have ups and downs, happiness and hurts.  Even though a marriage may be in a hurting season, we are surprised when our spouse makes a choice not to stay with the promise they made, that we both made to each other “for better or for worse until death”, instead they decide to leave.

Oh the hurt, the anger, the pain that their choice causes.  Oh I know you may feel relief at first, peace even.  Suddenly  you begin to feel the tug of Christ.  Reminding you about your promise, the covenant you made with your spouse before Christ.  For better or worse, sure you may be legally divorced, but in God’s eyes you are still married.  For better or worse.

My friend, you are not the only one going through this pain.  Nor are you standing alone.  I am a faithful stander too.  Please watch the video clip below from a couple who had a hurting marriage, one that ended in divorce.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0B5jOXVFfc

Standing will be difficult at times, you will most likely think about giving up.  Don’t!  Never give up!   “…With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

Pray and read the Bible, you can’t stand alone, you need God.  Pray the full armor of God around you and your spouse.

Read the full story of Jeff & Cheryl Scurggs in their book “I Do Again” their true story will give you further encouragement that spouses do come home, marriages do and are being restored because  – Nothing is impossible with God.

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44 (NIV)

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own. ¹⁸He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him. John 7:17-18 (NIV)

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24(NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16 (NIV)

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 1 Corinthians 12 4 & 7

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. Luke 2:52 (NIV)

Good understanding wins favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard. Proverbs 13:15 (NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:21 (NIV)

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15 (NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. Proverbs 27:12 (NIV)

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronom 6:5 (NIV)

making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:16 (NIV)

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 (NIV)

Read here how  and why I started this series.

Used by permission from Revive Our Hearts