As I have mentioned in the past I subscribe to “Charlyne Cares” a daily devotional from Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Granted every day the devotionals provide inspiration, encouragement and support but every now and then there is a devotional that is so moving that it needs to be shared beyond the Charlyne Cares subscription base.

Today was one of those devotionals.  I would like to thank Charlyne Steinkamp for giving me the permission to reprint today’s devotional and encourage you to visit Rejoice Marriage Ministries. It is a site that is focused on marriage, the restoration of marriage and the healing of sick marriages. It is also a great place for encouragement and study for building a stronger relationship with Christ.

Life is tough we are surrounded  by mixed messages.  Surrounded  by people who say one thing, but their actions show what they really mean.   My prayer is that this article will encourage you to focus on what you say compared to what you do.   A couple of my favorite sayings are:

Character is who you are when no one is looking

Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words by Charlyne Steinkamp

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with
actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong
to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence
whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our
hearts, and he knows everything.” I John 3:18-20

How many times have you heard the saying, “Actions speak louder
than words?” What does that mean to you today? You may have a
spouse who has been saying, “I love you” and suddenly they packed
their bags and filed for divorce. “Actions speak louder than
words.” May I use another example that you can also understand
very quickly. Your husband or wife may have been a professing
Christian, but now they have left, possibly filed for divorce and
there is another person involved. “Actions speak louder than
words.” How many people do you know personally, professionally
or politically that say one thing, but do another? “Actions
speak louder than words.”

As we start a new year, ask the Lord if you are putting into
practice what you have been learning as a Christian. Ask the
Lord (and yourself) if you are a Sunday Christian or a seven-day-
a-week Christian, striving to be more Christ-like each and every
day, which is the Lord’s desires for everyone. Does your daily
behavior demonstrate to others that you are a Christian? If not,
may you repent and start this new year with doing a personal
heart examination regarding if you are acting, speaking, living
and reacting as a Christian daily.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.
Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do
what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror
and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately
forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into
the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this,
not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it–he will be
blessed in what he does.” James 1:22-25

Wow! Are you understanding these scriptures? May this new year,
you pray to the Lord that you will hunger and thirst for the Word
of God to come alive to you like never before. Never forget to
pray to become the husband or wife and father or mother that you
need to be, but always putting God first in your daily life.
Then the Lord will give you wisdom, knowledge and understanding
in everything you need to do. May this scripture below be your
heart’s desire:

“This has been my practice: I obey your precepts. You are my
portion, O LORD; I have promised to obey your words. I have
sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according
to your promise. I have considered my ways and have turned my
steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey
your commands.” Psalm 119:56-60

We have heard of so many praise reports from many standers about
their husband or wife contacting them in many different ways.
God is moving, so you need to continue to pray for a spiritual
breakthrough for your beloved husband or wife or loved ones and
that they will come home in godly sorrow turning their heart to
repentance. A truth for both you and your beloved husband or
wife is this:

“To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are
corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both
their minds and consciences are corrupted. They claim to know
God, but by their actions they deny him.” Titus 1:15-16a

As you read and study the Bible, are you taking the instructions,
the precepts and principles that the Lord is teaching you as you
diligently apply them to your own personal life by putting them
into practice? As you have your daily devotion time, may you ask
the Lord to help you practice what you read and what you speak.

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by
his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from
wisdom.” James 3:13

“Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do
them.” John 13:17

May these scriptures encourage you to search your heart and be
certain that you do not simply read the Word, but put into action
what your Lord is teaching you daily. Be careful that you do not
become deceived. If you talk faith, you need to walk in faith.

“I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my
words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a
house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on the rock.
When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not
shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my
words and does not put them into practice is like a man who
built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment
the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction
was complete.” Luke 6:47-49

Where are you today? Are you doubleminded? Are you saying one
thing to your spouse, family or friends and then saying something
else to the Lord daily? May you apply and put into practice and
demonstrate daily all that you really believe. May you ask the
Lord to give you boldness so that you can share about your Lord
Jesus Christ daily to others, but also about the importance of
marriage restoration. Never forget: “Action speaks louder than
words!”

“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or
seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be
with you.” Philippians 4:9

Copyright © Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc., 2008, Pompano Beach, FL  Reprinted with permission.

Is it possible to fireproof your marriage?

Being married is wonderful; it is also the hardest thing in life that you encounter on a daily basis. It takes learning each others expectations of what being married is all about. It takes understanding, as well as learning to love each other after the “feelings” have worn off. It takes commitment and devotion to each other; it takes a lot of work. With the right foundation, it is possible to fireproof your marriage.

The creators of “Flywheel” and “Facing The Giants” will be releasing a new film titled, “Fireproof.” The movie is about Holt (Kirk Cameron) , a hero fire captain whose constant mantra to his team is, “Never leave your partner behind, especially in a fire.” When his wife tells him she wants a divorce, Holt realizes the contradiction between his commitment to run into a burning building to save a stranger but falling short in his marriage. With the help of his father, Holt takes up the challenging -– and often discouraging — challenge of reviving his marriage.

The movie representation appears to be very inspiring, I encourage you to click here for trailer and keep watch for the release which is September 26, 2008.

After seeing the trailer, and knowing how many people are struggling with relationship issues I felt impressed to add my thoughts on the topic. There is so much on the internet, TV, and day to day interactions that encourage divorce. It is time to spread the word that there are other options to just “giving up” on a marriage.

First let me make it clear, I am in not an expert on relationships. I have unfortunately gone through a divorce and pray for God’s will in restoration of my covenant relationship. In doing so, I have had much time to reflect on what I could have done better as well as mistakes I made.

No marriage is perfect, and no one in a marriage is perfect. It takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage. That is not to say that each person is equally responsible for all the problems in the marriage or the failure, it could be 50/50, 70/30 or even a 95/5 split, either way, each person holds some level of responsible, each person makes mistakes, after all we are human. At some point in time, when living with another individual you will hurt them, not intentionally, but it will happen. You have to acknowledge that hurt, correct it, and sincerely apologize and make it right. Without doing so, you are igniting a spark.

Why is that important to understand when it comes to fireproofing your marriage? I have had several people say to me “yes I am divorced but it wasn’t my fault” or “I am divorced but I did nothing wrong, my spouse just couldn’t handle being married.” When we refuse to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions, we fail to heal properly and are unable to learn from the mistakes and improve in areas that need improvement. Even if the mistakes you made are as little as five percent compared to those of your spouse, they are still mistakes that must be acknowledged and corrected so the future of your relationship or restoration of your marriage will be on improved terms rather than repeating an unhealthy cycle.

Good comes from bad and unwanted events. Use these events to grow from the experience and improve who you are as a person.

So how does a couple fireproof their marriage? First, and foremost, the primary focus must be on God and prayer. Both on an individual basis as well as together as a couple. Pray for each other, and the relationship. Continually pray for a hedge of protection around your marriage. Satan is a professional when it comes to destroying marriages. He plants thoughts in your mind, and sends the wrong people onto your path to get you to think about other things that distract you from your marital commitment, doubt yourself and your spouse.

Satan knows how to make you “think” you deserve better. He can make you “think” and then “believe” that you have the “right” to “hang out with the boys” or “go out with the girls” every night of the week leaving your spouse home alone or alone to deal with the kids. He makes you “think” that it is okay to spend long hours at work after all you are “supporting your family.” There are no limits to the ways he can deceive you into thinking you are justified in neglecting your spouse, regardless of the form of the neglect. He can make your feel so discourage and such a failure that you are almost paralyzed when it comes to being a contributing partner to your marriage. He knows which buttons to push for each person that will affect your marriage. Your button may be very different than my button, but satan knows how to play and where and when to hit.
Satan can make you “think” that your spouse “doesn’t understand you”, and therefore you begin to shut down, stop sharing with your spouse, breaking the emotional intimate connection between the two of you.
He makes you “think” that person at work “understands you so much better than my spouse.” Satan can even convince you that “God sent that other person and it is okay to walk away from your marriage”

God will NEVER give you a reason to walk away from a marriage. That is not to say there may be a season where you separate for your own safety and protection of your family, or to recover from a substance abuse problem, but your focus should be on resolving the issues at hand, your marriage is at stack, do what ever it takes to save it.

That is also not to say there are not Biblical reasons for divorce, infidelity (Matthew 5:32) and abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15). However, just because there is a Biblical reason for divorce, does not mean God likes it. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and would prefer you to work through your issues and restore relationship.

Remember the vows you spoke to each other and to God? Through sickness and health, good times and bad, rich or poor? Marriage is a commitment to each other and God, not a whim. If you focus on that, with God, you are fireproofing your marriage, it will be hard work, but worth it.

Satan is very clever, he has had years of practice breaking up relationships, he likes it because it causes so much hurt and pain, to each spouse, the kids, in-laws, the list is endless. When a marriage fails it touches everyone. Many times it even effects how you function at work; there is no limit to the destruction satan can produce in your life from a failed marriage, if you let him.

Did you catch those last four words…”if you let him.” This convincing
does not take place overnight, it takes, months, sometimes years, many
years before his tactics work. There are some marriages that fall to his
tactics after 37 or more years of marriage.

Do you see the pattern? Marriages are ending because that is what satan
wants, and we, you and I have let it happen by taking our eyes off of
Christ which opens the door for satan to step in.

We all have free will and have the ability to choose good over evil, God over satan. We all can choose not to accept satan’s temptations. He is very clever and can actually temp you in ways you don’t realize is satan. He can do this over time, building little by little until he finally achieves his goal of drawing you farther and farther away from God and eternal life.

Did you know that you can say aloud and command Satan to leave in the name of Jesus Christ that Satan leaves? That doesn’t mean he won’t try to come back, but God is mightier than satan, and the evil one knows he can’t defend himself against the name of Christ.

If you are reading this and rolling your eyes and saying “another bible thumper” and think what I am saying is not true, than that is exactly the type of thought satan wants you to think.

Fifty-one percent of Christians surveyed believe that there is no satan. Think about it, if you believe there is no satan, how easy is it to be deceived? You can’t protect yourself from something you “don’t think exists” right?

So back to the topic at hand, marriages end from the free will and actions of each spouse. If the relationship is not built on strong foundation of Christ, trust, commitment and with daily devotion, prayer and praise to our Lord, how is it possible to properly repel the advances of the evil one?

Have your heard the saying “you are what you eat”, same holds true with your mind. Garbage in, garbage out.

Think about this:

If you wake in the morning, suck down some caffeine (which is a drug), watched the news on TV then on your drive to work listen to the Gomer and Goober morning show on the radio, when you get to work start talking smack with the girls or guys in the office about what a louse your spouse is, where do you think your mind will be focused all day? Godly things or things with a negative slant?

Now what if you got up in the morning, had a piece of fruit and some juice and read a small morning bible passage or devotional, said a small prayer before leaving the house, listened to praise music or an audio CD of a Christian inspirational book on the way to work, then talked to the girls or guys about what a nice time you and your spouse had last night playing games or working in the yard together or just spending time with each other, how do you think your focus and mind will directed? Open to positive Godly things or negative things?

Slow deception:

How often have you looked at your spouse and thought to yourself “he is too fat” or “she doesn’t dress the way I want her to dress, this lady at work dresses nice all the time” or “I hate it when he reads the paper when I am trying to talk to him.” These thoughts are surface thoughts, that may seem harmless but will begin to break down how you view who your spouse really is, and opens your mind to compare your spouse to others around you. Overtime these negative thoughts start you to think a little deeper, maybe start thinking you could do better, that you don’t love your spouse anymore and eventually leave, ending the marriage, maybe for that other person who you “think” is so perfect.

By the way, nobody is perfect, but the evil one may have thinking that way. There are those who are “perfect for us” but they are not perfect. There is a difference. Also, as mentioned above, God will never send you another to replace your spouse, but satan will send you a counterfeit, a fake to deceive you further. Satan may even have you deceived in thinking you are so perfect or such a failure, that no one is good enough for you or you are not good enough for anyone and you are better off being alone.

It is so easy to focus on surface issues. It allows you to point the finger at someone else rather than looking at yourself. Surface issues are hard to resolve, because once one surface item is resolved, another surface item will come up. Satan will continually tell you that you are not satisfied, not content with the person you married or the person you left your spouse for, or with what you yourself are doing to find happiness. Sadly, you will never be satisfied if this is your thought process. Not with someone else, somewhere else nor with yourself.

Once you have broken your marriage, it will be that much easier to break the next marriage, and so on. Why? Because what you are searching for will never be found in an individual or within yourself. It will only be found and satisfied with a real relationship with God. From there your earthly relationships will thrive and survive.

If you and your spouse have a strong relationship with Christ, does that mean that the two of you will never have struggles or argue? Not at all. There may be times when satan may temp you even more so, as this is a challenge for him, he hates happy marriages. The difference is you have a strong foundation through Jesus Christ.

Practice this for a month:

Instead of thinking about all those little surface issues that you think are “so bad” about your spouse, think about those deep qualities of your spouse, the qualities that really matter in a spouse. Such as their commitment to God, their devotion to you. Think about the character of your spouse and their good work ethic. What about their parenting skills, which is a talent in and of itself to be thankful for. Are they a stay at home Mom or Dad? That is hard work. Think about how they took care of you when you were sick. Or how they help out your parents, their in-laws. What ever it is, all spouses have good deep qualities, those that really matter in a relationship. Those characteristics and qualities that make them who they are, the qualities that satan makes you forget. Those are the same qualities that attracted you to them in the first place. The qualities that you fell in love with and committed yourself to through marriage.

As I mentioned above, I am not a relationship expert, I have experienced hurt and pain and share these thoughts in hopes that it may provide some support and encouragement to not take the easy way out of a marriage by divorce. To avoid the devastation a broken marriage brings to the whole family unit. To fireproof your marriage with the a foundation of Christ Jesus, prayer, and satan repellent.

If your marriage has already ended, or you are separated, please visit RejoiceMinistries.com and sign up for Charlyne Cares daily emails, they are full of encouragement as well as biblical direction to help you build a relationship with the Prince of Peace, Christ. Rejoice Ministries was created by a couple who went through bad times and eventually divorced only to remarry two years later. They are living proof that, God does heal hurting marriages and that Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).

Republished from July 2008

I am pleased to announce this article has been featured on the following sites:
The Sixteenth Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life

Carnival of Family Life

Marriage – It requires work, prayer, patience, time.  Most importantly marriage requires love and respect.

Let’s face it most of us don’t have a clue about what it takes to have a successful marriage which is evident by the divorce rate including my own.   However, there is a big difference between having a marriage that failed in divorce for which you have attempted to learn from as well as  stand for by praying for restoration and those who divorce only to remarry  which statistics show second and third marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages.   Meaning very few are willing to learn how to be in a successful marriage.

I vow to not to be a part of  that cycle.   I married one man and will stand for restoration of that relationship til death, as I promised to him as well as to God.

So what does it take to have a successful marriage?

Love and respect.  Really, this concept holds true for any relationship but especially in marriage.

Let’s look at Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV

Wives and Husbands

²²Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. ²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^{[b] 32}This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

How can we go past what the Bible says about how to relate to our spouse?  How can good Christian men and women, who committed themselves in marriage to the man or women they love get so messed up?  Simple, we live in a broken world and are not focused on Christ.

Without a total and complete focus on our Creator Jesus Christ, on a daily basis women fall very short of properly respecting their husband and men fall very short of properly loving their wife.

We are too selfish.  We are too self centered.  It isn’t the fault of the husband and it isn’t the fault of the wife.  It is the  fault of both.  Now I don’t want to get into how one spouse cheated or  emotionally disconnected while the other spouse was faithful and trying.  The bottom line is, if you are two people living in one house each of you have some portion of responsibility of the success and/or failure of the marriage, period.

So what do you do to fix what is broken, or make better what you have?

First, Pray!  Without prayer, individually and together as a couple you are setting yourselves up for a problem if not failure.  Asking Jesus Christ into your marriage on a daily basis is a must.   Are there some successful marriage that don’t have Christ as the foundation?  Well, I believe there marriages that continue to exist without Christ, but doubt they are successful, meaning are they are filled with love & respect for each other and treat each other as such?  Without Christ there is something missing.

Second, marriage takes work, you must first commit to work on the relationship together.  One person can’t keep the marriage a float, it takes two.   Work isn’t just physical labor of maintaining the household such as taking out the trash, mowing the lawn or doing the laundry.  Work includes a conscience effort to make quality time with your spouse. Open communication is part of work.  Can you share anything with your spouse without fear of being ridiculed or having them “roll their eyes” at you?  You must have total trust in that person to do that.  Trust is built on open, transparent communication and actions.

You must be able to know that your spouse is trustworthy.  Be open and honest with each other.  As noted above, there may be some marriages that survive without Christ as a foundation but many times in those marriages there is a level of deception.  Once spouse is hiding something from the other.  Maybe it is a financial issue, maybe they are talking to a person of the opposite sex or surfing undesirable sites on the internet.  Bottom line if there is deception in a marriage there is a level of dis-trust and that is like an infection that festers for a lifetime.

This circles us right back around to Love & Respect.  With Christ as your foundation, and daily prayer there will be a natural desire to show Love & Respect to your spouse which will make it easier to work on the relationship and in turn create an environment of total transparency and openness.

I know that is what God intends for us in a marriage a relationship, it should be a little heaven on earth.

On a closing note,  I highly recommend the book “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs as it goes into detail about how to truly love and respect your spouse.  It is a wonderful read for both men and women and something that can be done together to bring you both closer together.

We all have life changing experiences. I believe that each life changing experience happens for a reason. I also believe that once the initial shock and hurt subsides it is a good time for self reflection. It is a good time for self evaluation, to determine how this change can improve who we are as individuals and how we can better contribute to our personal and professional relationships.

Many times these life changes involve relationships. Sometimes we are naive and trusting to a fault, and/or we have no real education in how to identify safe people verses unsafe people that come and go in our lives. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we knew ahead of time if a person was safe or not before we invested our time, love and energy and sometimes money into them?

In order to have continued success; spiritually, personally, professionally and financially, we have to be able to identify what type of people we are allowing into our lives. Are the people close to us, those in our spiritual, personally and professional lives safe or unsafe? Do the people around you help you improve who you are as a person? Do they help improve you professionally? Do they help improve you spiritually?

Do you help improve those around you? You see, not only do you need to identify safe people to be around, but you too must identify if you are a safe person for others to be around. It is important to correct areas in your life where you are unsafe.

We are all unsafe in some form. Nobody is perfect. However, the first thing that starts to identify you as a safe person is that you can recognize you are not perfect, that you are open for self improvement and personal development. As we improve who we are, we also help improve the safe people around us. Those who are unsafe many times are unable to admit their flaws or if they can admit a flaw, they seldom, if ever, focus on personal development, behavior change or self improvement, they instead focus more on the flaws of others.

As you have probably figured out by now, I am a big fan of personal development/self improvement books, especially those with a Christian perspective. Recently I came upon a book by the same authors of the exceptional book “Boundaries.” This book, “Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t” is also a must read.

I have always believed that there is good in most people. I also believed and know that life if full of hurts, people will hurt you, it is part of relationships. One thing that many of us sometimes get caught up in is that even someone who knows the word of God and professes to be a Christian can hurt and be untrustworthy. Sadly, even people who professes to be “Christian” can be unsafe.

Many of us do not recognize or acknowledging the signs of an unsafe person. Many of us just don’t know how to recognize an unsafe person. Instead we may focus on who a person may portray themselves to be rather than who and what their actions show they are.

Safe people help you to grow. They are constantly pushing you to extend yourself in new ways, and you are pushing them as well, a one-sided relationship is also unsafe.

The following are 7 key characteristics present in safe people, keep in mind that only time truly will tell if a person has these traits or not, many unsafe people will mask themselves for a period of time, but time will always show true character, and character is who a person is when no one is looking.

1. Safe people are non-judgmental.

When you get serious about dealing with a problem of any kind, you need people who are not spending their time judging you for your mistakes. Safe people don’t judge you.

2. Safe people listen.

When you reach out for help you need people who will really listen to your struggles. Safe people let you share your story and all the difficulty you have faced in carrying a burden. There is empathy with safe people. While they may not have experienced your specific trouble, they listen with their heart and want to truly help.

3. Safe people maintain strong boundaries.

One of the dangers of seeking out safe people is that you might be so amazed at their compassion and care that you begin to move too close too quickly, they encourage you to make a quick decision to commit to them, to make an investment, or something else that may truly need some distance, time and/or research before making a final decision. Safe people, however, also know how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries that represent appropriate interaction and assistance. They won’t push you to make a decision you are not ready to make.

4. Safe people are reliable and respect the commitments they make.

Trust, is critical in any relationship of any kind. Trust is easily broken when an unsafe person does not follow through on the commitments they make. Safe people can be counted on, keep their promises, maintain your confidence in them and don’t give you reason to doubt their words.

5. Safe people are honest and tell the truth in love.

Some people who may appear to be safe are really just looking for a way to present themselves as superior potentially to get what “they” want. Safe people know how to tell you the truth in love. They are not pointing out your weaknesses to pump themselves up, but rather to help you move toward improvement and personal development and a life that truly brings satisfaction.

6. Safe people pray for wisdom and are humble.

Anyone willing to help another person must understand that they need wisdom. And gaining wisdom requires humility. You can often spot the safe people by how often they ask God for wisdom, knowing that apart from His leading they could lead you astray. These are the kind of people you want around when traveling the road to recovery from any form of hurt or other problem you are attempting to solve in your life.

7. Safe people help you get help.

Finally, safe people know their limitations and have a heart of willingness to get you the help you need. They will walk with you as you expand your network of support to include a counselor, a good investment advisor or other individuals to help you reach your goal toward life success.

To put it all in one small package, safe people are not critical, but can lovingly point out areas where you can improve as well as suggest how to make those improvements when needed. They are reliable, trustworthy, honest, and consistent. If they have done something to hurt you, you should be able to share with them that hurt and have them understand and assure you the behavior will not occur again and it not occur, rather then them act out defensively, or “promise” it won’t happen again only to have it happen after a few weeks or months. Safe people can only be found over time, with proven, consistent behavior. Safe people are people with a good character, they are not perfect, they are open and honest about who they are.

After reading this book I have learned that unfortunately there seems to be more unsafe people around us then safe people. Many unsafe people are very good at portraying themselves to be safe. People who seem to be safe, sometimes have such emotional issues that they are unable to share their lives with others in an honest trustworthy relationship, these people many times go through life mimicking what they think a safe relationship should be rather than emotionally connecting. For these people time is their enemy as they can not keep up the “appearance” of a safe person for long and many times they hurt those who invest in them, those who are not educated in spotting an unsafe person.

“Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t” should be required reading for everyone and I highly recommend it. It will help in all areas of your life, spiritual, personal, professional. And even though this book is in no way related to finances or money, it will help you in those areas as well because there are many “unsafe” people who are out to take money from those who can’t spot the unsafe person who may be out to scam you.

This book will also help you improve your own “safe” factor in how you relate to those around you, the more safe you are as an individual, the more you will be drawn to other safe people and the easier you will recognize unsafe people, maybe even those in your life right now.

As you walk through life, keep your eyes open for safe people. They will become your greatest asset next to God.